I Sense A Presence X

Sally’s gaze was fixed on the diary but feet petrified. She stood at the window all night long as a motionless statue but her mind was raging. There were tornadoes, volcanoes, whirlpools swirling, erupting and devastating her from within. She wanted to cry, shout, scream but it seemed as if something caged her at this moment. Panic attacks aren’t new to Sally, her emotionally vulnerable nature have always put her on the receiving end.

Hours passed and it was dawn. Henry woke up around 6 AM and was terrified for a moment to see a motionless and emotionless Sally standing at the window staring at him without battling an eyelid. It seemed as if she is possessed.

“Are you Ok honey?” Henry quizzed as he got from the bed to get a hold of Sally. But before he could touch her she collapsed. Her body couldn’t take more.

“Sally!!” Screamed Henry catching her. He lifted her to the bed, placed her body comfortably. Meanwhile Tracy entered their room as she heard Henry screaming.

“I heard you screaming, what happened? What happened to Sally?” Tracy asked as she looked at unconscious Sally.

“I don’t know, when I woke up I found her standing at the window, looking pale and ghostly. When I tried to reach her she collapsed” explained Henry.

Tracy without furthering the discussion or showing any concern asked Henry if he would be going to office today or shall she start without him.

Henry gave a stern look to Tracy but cordially replied “gonna take a leave today, can’t leave Sally in this condition. And to think otherwise is a stupidity to say the least”.

To that reply Tracy walks up to Sally, settles beside her and gently carassess her hair and says “yeah, she will need a lot of that care now (emphasising on the last two words). Ok I shall take your leave now” and she left the room and Henry returned to Sally. As he was attending Sally, Tracy turned her head once more to get a glimpse of them over her shoulder. She had a smirk on her face.

Around 2 PM Sally woke up, struggled to get up straight as her head was in immense pain and felt dizzy. Henry at once dashed to her to help her. But even in such misery she was cold to the concern that Henry showed. He noticed that at once.

“Look I explained myself yesterday itself that how Tracy ended up at dinner with my client. To accept it or scrutinize my words is your call. I can handle your unwelcoming, cold, suspicious behavior towards me. That’s not my concern, people do change. This is surely not you, I mean not the one I know or have known. My worry is what or who is changing you” and he left Sally to ponder over his words as he got busy arranging lunch for her.

Resting her head on the pillow she turned to her left with Henry’s words now echoing in her head. She thought “he is not completely wrong. Women around Henry isn’t a new sight to me but I have never found it awkward or untoward or say never looked at it in that perspective where I could doubt his loyalty towards me. He gave his explanation, then why I am not able to process it. Am I really getting influenced, is there anything that is taking a toll on my common sense and understanding of circumstances”. She was immersed in her thoughts while looking at the diary as Henry entered the bedroom with lunch. She was so lost in her thoughts that “adventures and miseries” of Anne Turner couldn’t magnetize Sally to pick and turn to read the next turn of events in her life.

Sally and Henry had lunch in utter silence. As Henry got up to take back the lunch set up to the kitchen a sorry escaped Sally’s lips. That was nothing more than a whisper but did reach Henry’s notice. He simply smiled and nodes and turned towards the door to leave.

But before leaving he once again paused at the threshold “by the way honey I forgot to tell you a guy called Josh called when you were asleep”.

This made Sally a bit uncomfortable as she never disclosed about Josh to Henry, though she has been in touch with him for quite a some time now. “Oh Josh! Wh..what he was saying? She enquired in an inquisitive yet shaky tone.

“He asked you to call once you are awake, nothing in particular. Call him” Henry gestured to give a call and left. He left Sally in a guilt ride by not asking Who, Where, What…….

I Sense A Presence XX

There was an awkward silence that enveloped the room. Emotions (rather anxiety) simmering in hearts. Before that silence could attain a monstrous shape Sally ran to Henry embracing him and pouring her heart, to be precise her fears to him.

“Someone is trying to kill me. Someone is after my life, watching me 24*7. Trust me, please!!!” Clinging to Henry as Sally spoke, words seem to be gushes of streams of her inner turmoils.

“Sshh honey, I am here, no one gonna hurt you. Calm down love, I won’t let anything happen to you. We will see through it” Henry spoke as he caressed Sally’s hair to pacify her. But warmth seemed to be missing in his words and momentary glance at Josh had some other equations wrapped up in itself.

“But I wasn’t expecting you” quipped Sally all of a sudden and that shifted his attention towards Sally again while Josh was still looking at Henry. And Sally continued her questions “and how you ended up coming from the backyard, and Tracy!! There was a vibe of suspicion in her tone.

“He wanted to surprise you ” Tracy (rolling her eyes) finally intervened who till now was a mute spectator of the entire chaotic scene.

Tracy’s presence has always evoked unpleasant feelings in Sally. Tracy’s intervention ruffled the same feathers in Sally who snapped back at her “a backdoor entry is more of a shock than a surprise. I deserve an explanation, don’t I?” Sally was fiery that no one knew of. From awkward silence to flaring tempers, that was a complete turn around.

Josh thought quitting the scene might result in some sort of serenity immediately. He did so, took leave and left. Henry on the other hand didn’t have this convenient option. He invested himself in handling Sally, trying to tackle her questions and dodge her stares. And Tracy has nothing better to do but to go to her room.

Sally wasn’t done yet. Her stare followed Tracy till she went out of the sight. “When will she leave our house?” asked Sally in a tone just a decibel higher than a whisper yet cold and seemingly menacing, signalling the dislike sedimented in her heart for her.

“Soon” replied Henry in a placid tone. And before Sally could further her investigation he took the initiative and tried to mellow down the tense situation with his care and caressing. “Honey let me make a cup of coffee for you. Something is bothering you and I see that but can’t see through it. Trust me” and he kissed on her forehead.

Around 9’o clock in the night:

Josh was still occupied with everything that passed throughout the day. He wanted a diversion but suddenly one more thing from the day’s minutes struck his senses – the letter !!

Crushing himself on the couch he opened the letter. It read:

Dear Diana,

Georgia finally found peace but how I wished it was amidst us. She was in pain, in deep pain which was beyond our comprehension. She wailed, she fought and she succumbed but unfortunately she was alone. We did everything in our capacity and understanding, from prayers to rituals, everything we were told we did in a bid to drive that demon away from our child. A mother’s heart knows how excruciatingly painful it is to see her child go hungry over days, restrained by shackles, bearing the burnt of religious fanaticism as a demon drive out exercise. She screamed in pain and I stood there just to offer my service as a hand holding a fragile, fear stricken girl with all it’s might telling her to “mind her ways”. I was only a fiddle to my god fearing husband and more than the god it was the world who he was fearing. We tried to keep things wrapped tight, so tight that we suffocated our own child. Demons still haunt us after Georgia left – demons of guilt, indecisiveness, agony and going to stay till we are buried in our own remorse. What we thought will be our safe and beautiful abode turned out to be our castle of nightmares. Georgia always complained about a presence. Why she has to go through it…….

Josh finished an unfinished letter. Now his head was heavy with an imaginary vision of what could have transpired in that house, what happened to Georgia, demons or something less cared and talked about. What is it?

As Josh has different concoctions cooking up in his mind the trance was broken by his buzzing phone.

Before he could pick it up it stopped but a message popped up “we need to talk right away” and the sender was Henry…..

Virally Not Yours

Originally posted on Candles Online

Husband (looking into the mirror): Honey!!! Honey!!!

Wife comes running from balcony with phone in her hand. “Why are you screaming dear? You just spoiled my reel!! What on earth made you scream your lungs out? It better be something that really needs my attention.”

Husband : What do you mean by “your attention”. Look what happened to my trousers (pointed towards his trouser that was unevenly ripped only on the left and interestingly it’s not even denim but a regular formal one).

Wife: Oh that thing! I did it. You know my friend made a reel with her husband in a torn shirt and got over a million views. I want to make a better reel and surpass that number, that’s why this ( and she giggles leaving her husband bemused). Honey we need to make funny videos to make our numbers ticking. We can’t just Relax and let others take a lead.

Husband: Yeah funny, hmm. Why don’t you switch on the camera and say that you are Smart!! Funny isn’t it? (Left the room with wife smirking and getting busy with her camera)

Sarcasm and agony written all over that husband’s face which was just a reflection of the restlessness of his wife – restless to make her presence felt on social platform, restless for churning numbers of views and likes, restless for relevance in the context of trends.

I might have given a fictional account of a couple but the scenario isn’t fictional altogether. From vacation pictures of celebrities to absurd challenges; from transformation videos to derision of people in the name of comedy; from cringe like breaking out dancing in the middle of street to being violent to random people – all in the wake of getting “Viral” and gaining attention. What started off as harmless fun has now attained the status of more or less a gluttony that has messed badly with our brains, draining off sanity and peace leaving behind a worked and worn out mind.

Get yourself some rest: Often we hear the term detoxify and the importance of cleansing one’s body. Very much needed indeed in the wake of the content we consume (like literally what goes in -what we eat) and our relatively less physically active lifestyles. But with our exposure to the social media and it’s content, our brain too has consumption. Wanted – unwanted; sensitive – bizarre; informative – crazy – say it , have it. It’s a buffet out there. And the brain too gets tired of consuming tirelessly a plethora of junk. And from consumption to serving dishes we have completed a full circle. And the problem arises when the circumference of that circle enlarges. When we are on consuming side we more often than not let our thoughts processes skew and let emotions embroil accordingly. Let’s go to the other side of the fence. Once a post is made, the next desire is to see it finding the reach – having clicks, views, likes , comments, shares, subscribers, followers, going viral. It’s a pretty much numbers game!! Pretty entangled. And when those expectations are not met we feel bad and rejected. We are in a self doubting mode – was it good enough? Worse , many also go through the existential crises as for them it’s about getting those impressions. We may accept it or not, our brains too need detoxification – a digital one. Our thoughts need a break from that constant worry of being able or not to impress others. Aimless wandering aiming for a set of benchmark numbers is an ailment for sure. Evading from the social scene from time to time is the best possible cure/ detoxification method. This is definitely not a new thing that I am phrasing out here but definitely less trended path.

Few exercises (questions) we constantly need to do:

• Do our private life need social audience every time?
• If the answer is yes to the above question then are we ready to ably handle the unwanted commentary (not supporting it by any means)?
• Why and how opinions of strangers on virtual world matters?
• Are you sure that all the happy faces on the internet are happy in reality as well?
• What if at this very moment “I forget my password for every social account of mine and there’s no possibility to retrieve the same for a long period”, will that affect my quality of life?

These questions from time to time will give a reality check. This is not bashing social media but a small attempt to bring to notice that conscious consumption/supply is of paramount importance. That let’s brain breathe and think. Our brain too deserves rest and it doesn’t mean completely devoid and deprived of thoughts/ ideas/ opinions but it means better utilization of it and not squandering it for trivial and unimportant things.

Sharing my experience: I am politically centre- right aligned person. I was on Twitter where I thought I could speak my mind. But soon I found myself to be really effected by what others say. I rejoiced when I found same voices, I disliked (always in the realm of cordial disagreement) the otherwise opinion (though pondering over arguments backed with strong reasoning and logics) and really hurt over crude comments that had sole objective of abusing the people who don’t agree with their perspective. That left me thinking over and over, worried for some unexplained reasons. I was getting anxious and was evident on my face. My husband intervened at right time. He said ” if you can’t remain level headed, if social media debates are leaving you hassled, if words of unknown faces ring in your head, if you can’t see it as a way to pass of your time then you should better be off the wagon”. He was in a jovial mood when he said those things to me but I took it up as an advice on trial. Deleted my Twitter account, reduced my Facebook and Instagram engagement immediately. And to my surprise found myself lighter by many notches. My presence on social media wasn’t for the numbers yet it effected me as I was weak and let it to do so. I always maintained and practiced – acceptance is the key!!

Be a Voice not noise: The point is how we create or consume content on the social media. Presence of social media in our lives is nothing less than a boon where ideas, perspectives, creativity are given a buoyant push towards the public eye. But a discretion is always necessary as to how the creators and the consumers behave. What we are experiencing now is a rush to be visible and seemingly relevant than actually making sense. This extreme pressure we are exerting on ourselves is making it a noise than a voice. Users discretion is so important, isn’t it?

Try take a break and make this idea viral 😜

I Sense A Presence XIX

Josh rushed to see Sally, she sounded quite disturbed. In his rush he didn’t heed any attention towards the letter that grandam handed over to him. He simply shoved it inside his pocket.

He rang the doorbell and waited at the door. It was taking unusually long for Sally to open the door and that rendered a certain amount of curiosity and restlessness in Josh. He peeped through the the windows to see if Sally is around or not. There was no trace of Sally.

As Josh turned to leave the door behind his back slowly opened. Sally was standing there with an iron bar in her hands. She firmly held yet was shivering tremendously. She was in a distorted state. She was pale and profusely perspired.

Josh wasted no time in holding her as if he meant to say “I have your back”. He took her inside, made her sit and rushed to offer her water. Just as she took a sip from the glass he asked “What happened to you Sally? What took you so long to open the door? Why are you holding this bar? You don’t look fine, tell me what happened?”.

With feeble hands she pointed towards the staircase running down to the basement. Josh looked over his shoulder in the direction she pointed and within a moment turned to ask her what it was about.

“someone came from here, someone is here. I was attacked” Sally said in a breaking and shaky voice. “What! I didn’t get you. Attacked as in? Are you sure? I mean it might be some bad dream” Josh wanted to ascertain the situation, therefore was apparently dismissive to begin with.

“I was here in the hall when She tried to choke me from behind. I struggled my way to the room upstairs and called you…” And before Sally could finish the word “She” caught Josh’s attention.

“You said She, how do you know it was “She” and who was it? Do you remember anything?” Josh was now in action. But Sally’s answer this time hinted some underlying problem.

Sally in a lot more composed yet illusionary tone said “I know it’s the lady on the wall. From the first day she had an eye on me, I can feel her presence. Her presence is suffocating me”. Josh was both confused and concerned for his friend now. He looked at the wall she pointed towards to find absolutely nothing.

“There’s nothing. I think you had a sort of nightmare. You probably need some rest. First you said there’s someone from the basement, now you are pointing towards the wall but I see nothing and no one. I hate to say this but I am finding it hard to believe you at this moment for being in a profession that trusts nothing but tangible substances” Josh struggled to put forth his stance.

Josh’s words made Sally wary and restless. There was a burst out of tears and a hysteria filled out the empty space of the room around ” you don’t believe me!!! No one does!!! You won’t believe me even if show you these” She flashed her shoulders that had bruise marks all over.

As Josh slightly leaned over Sally to have a look at the bruises there was a noise in the backyard. Suddenly the door opens and enters Tracy along with Henry.

Both the parties in a fix with regard to the position of their counterparts.

To be continued….

Reboot The System, Slay The Demon !!!

Little Chaani was watching her favourite cartoon series on YouTube. Suddenly an advertisement popped up. It was a scary one. With demonic figures charging up, roaring at each other and inflicting carnage on everything and everyone, Chaani got scared and ran to her mother. Mother skipped the ad and consoled Chaani. Chaani gathered herself and asked her mother, “Mom are demons real?”

Mom smiled and said “no darling that’s all imagination, demons don’t exist. Don’t get scared” and hugged Chaani tightly and put her to sleep. That night mother watched her closely if that advertisement would have an impact on Chaani’s sleep. Night passed off well and the next day Chaani left to school happily. Before leaving Chaani posed one question that engaged thoughts of mother for a very long time. Chaani asked “Mom can imagination yield something so alien or a completely non existing thing? Aren’t demons real?”

Mom didn’t say anything but smiled and saw her off. But she had an answer so complicated that she believed it would be out of the little girl’s comprehension. Answer was “Yes demons are for real”.

Demons are not the caricatures we see onscreen but they dwell well amidst us and within us, peeping through the cracks in our character. Always on a lookout to unleash themselves upon us, commanding us to submit and surrender ourselves (souls) to the ulterior motives.

With those heavy thoughts the mother tapped he phone to check out the news with her morning coffee. She tumbled over different “Viral” materials across the internet, making their way to the news portals. A group of bullies beating a lone person mercilessly; an officer abusing subordinates and general public while misusing the authority bestowed; miscreants ill treating (vis a vis torturing) animals just for fun; both the genders getting harassed on various pretexts while transgenders still getting mocked up to an extent of utter humiliation for just being a part of nature’s scheme and everything ranging from witty to atrocious. A sigh escaped her lips that had disgust written all over. And she submerged herself in deep introspection:

More than the brutality of the incidents the silence of spectators busy in capturing the episodes in their phones is quite bone chilling. Demons that we are acquainted with are blood thirsty creatures who thrive on the weakness, sorrow and fear of others. We had a notion that demons are unworldly and against humans. But a bird’s eye view at the times we are living in it is clear that it’s has nothing to do with a certain type of specie. It’s about humanity which is almost incessantly depleting from the human race. To worsen the woes what we are witnessing is an oscillation between apparent demons (driven by greed, lust, anger, ego) and slow poison (the mute spectators who claim to be peace loving and the law abiding people).

Between the demons and slow poison, it’s the slow poison that is posing a great threat to humanity as it is gifting away the encouragement for such insidious and horrific plans of scrupulous souls to be put into action. Precisely the slow poison of the thought process called “why get involved” is ushering life into the ideology of “who will dare”. In a way the periphery system to the humanity – our value system is paralysed. We react, regret and forget but don’t act at the very first place. Over the years of evolution we have technically advanced but morally been (still) through a downward spiral. We are somehow habituated to live in a cocoon, a bubble from where we pray – to keep Us / Ourselves safe and happy; from where we have a view of everything happening around us and hope nothing unfortunate lands at our doorstep; from where we certainly talk about the cruelties of the wicked ones but don’t speak against it because we are more or less paralysed by one question “Why Get Involved?“. This illusion that our silence will save us from problems is like believing that we might save ourselves from a wild fire by simply changing our path or keep the catastrophic tornado at bay using an umbrella. Sooner or later we all will get engulfed.

To Sum it up – We are aware and woke but not awake.

Our System is infected – Since we made an incredible and unfathomable amount of technological advancements let us talk in technical terms. Considering the human society as a system say a computer that is connected to the entire ecosystem via peripherals of values and responsibilities. Time and again this system is being attacked by the virus of beastiality and over the years various technicians (leaders/ law makers) through their tireless research enabled a security for the system. Security include laws and regulations, code of conducts. But that has not been able to completely secure the system, in fact over a period of time the defence of the system has been weakened considerably. Reason – corrosion of the peripheral that made the security rather ineffective. But the technicians and the users are still turning their user manuals to find defect. It’s high time that we revive the connections with certifications of “compassion”, “gratitude”, “unity” towards the entire system.

Reboot is thy need of the hour!!

Buzz Of Failure

Completely rattled by a relentless commotion,

I looked around to ascertain the origin of this motion.

More I dug deep and looked around, more I felt disappointed,

For there’s only a vacuum sucking me in and left me disoriented.

There’s a myriad of reasons to be celebrated with glee,

Also there’s despair marking it’s presence, lurking around rearing to engulf me.

I ran incessantly to escape the deafening roar chasing my existence,

Only to find the horizons closing on me, throttling every trivial glimmer of resistance.

I clasped my hands to hold on to a cover to shut off that nerve wracking noise,

I believed that shore is finally in reach, so is my sanity and poise.

But truth finally dawned upon me, it was the cry of pain emanating from the heart,

A barrage of piled up emotions that sedimented for ages now determined to tear me apart.

I realized for long I have been walking without moving an inch,

ache of being rejected, failing, falling is making it’s voice felt now with a pinch.

Nothing achieved so far , not sure of any success in future,

Its the buzz of questions that I posed to myself – how long like this, would I be able to provide my broken soul any suture?

For the moment I am standing at a juncture fighting demons within that eloquently pronounced me a failure,

Aware of the fact yet oblivious to the outcome, the only choice I am left with is to either give up or go down fighting as a gladiator.

The buzz of failure from within is the worst enemy one can deal,

It could cripple the courage, hurt the senses and butcher the individuality beyond heal.

I am listening to that buzz of failure…….

I Sense A Presence XVIII

An unintended chuckle escaped Josh’s mouth the moment he heard the grandma saying “it is cursed”. His reaction was met with a cold shoulder and a stoic pose that had an immediate dominos effect on Josh silencing him too.

After few seconds of silence she resumed talking “well I see this generation tosses up everything in air that is out of their comprehension. There are many things in this cosmos that might not fit into your tiny realm of LOGIC but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist”. Her words did restrain Josh from being eloquent about his thoughts via his expressions. He has resolved now to let only his ears do the working. And the grandma continued.

“A house isn’t just a structure of mortar and bricks but a mirror capturing the vibes of emotions parading amidst the walls. And this house is a glass cage, beautiful from outside but stinks from the staunch of a tormented soul trapped inside” and before she could continue she was interrupted by the blaring sound of a phone ringer that happened to be Josh’s. Apparently it slipped out of his mind to silence it while entering into the house and most importantly the conversation.

Silencing the phone hurriedly and slipping it into his pockets he apologised for such an unintentional unruly behaviour of his and asked “who used to live here? You were acquainted with the families who dwelled there? What nursed the commotion that this house is “cursed”? What has actually transpired beyond those walls? I am a kind of intrigued “. This was in a way Josh’s attempt to make the grandma talk succinctly without the buildup like that of a youtine channel credits that thrive on click baits. And seemingly he was successful in his effort.

“As a child I remember lovely couple of Turners once gracing that beautiful house. One of the most beautiful house in the quarter also hosted some of the most opulent parties in the neighborhood. My grandparents had the opportunity to be on the guest list of few of those parties. It was all hunky dory. But things turned upside down quickly in a matter of couple of years. Gatherings slowly dwindled away and the usually chirpy atmosphere around and in the house was devoured by queer silence. The lady of the house as heard by the people fell ill and chose to remain in solitude. My grandmother tried to peep in their troubled paradise with a a genuine intention of pitching in with help but all went futile. And after few days even the little news from the house died as if it was engulfed by big black cloud of oblivion. And Ann died, reasons best known to the family. And after that misfortune seemed to be a permanent guest wishing every occupant thereafter. The Mark’s, The Schindler’s, The Scott’s everyone had a trail, from unpleasant to scary events driving them out. Last it was the young girl Georgia whose horrifying screams were heard across the neighbourhood. Once a healthy child was reduced to a bag of bones when the family left the place. It has been almost a decade I guess when Georgia and her family left this place” Grandma paused, so did the history in her eyes.

Josh scoffed and reinitiated the conversation ” any idea where all the families are by any chance? And couldn’t I be a mere coincidence of misfortunes and mishaps? Not everything that doesn’t meet the human eye is supernatural, I am sure there will be some explanation behind these stories. Fear is as bad as any other addiction and needs a rehabilitation of truth” Josh made a quite a statement there.

And as he awaited Grandma’s reaction his phone vibrated, it was a call from Sally. Josh excused himself to attend the call. “Come home as soon as possible” requested Sally in rather shaky and petrified tone.

Josh was in a rush in the next moment. Just as he reached the door he was stopped by grandma ” too many coincidences in or around something spells phenomena, my experience says so. Hope you prove me wrong dear” and handed him a letter addressed to her by Georgia’s mother. “Hope it might help you” said the grandma.

With just one glance at the tattered letter and a smile on his face Josh left the place slipping the letter in his pocket.

To be continued….

I Sense A Presence XVII

Josh left the cafe with his head full – full of disbelief about how his friend got entangled in utter nonsense; with a tug of war engaging within whether to step back or go ahead he reached his office. As he was exchanging pleasantries with his colleagues, one of his friend casually showed an online video about “haunted/cursed buildings” of the history. Many stories woven around those buildings led to their abandonment and not to mention how they featured on the bucket list of many adventure seekers. But what happened to those adventure lovers not revealed. How once a piece of beautiful architecture is now secluded and scary, the roots to be searched in the numerous folk tales, rumours aired, the history and few pair of eyes that witnessed silently a belief being built. “Do you believe in these stories?”one colleague from the group asked the man who was showing the video. ” We are seekers, all we need is a proof and witness. Don’t try to cross check my beliefs, the reason why I showed you this video is that it is better than those tiktok videos” and a loud laugh ensued.

That’s what stuck Josh instantly – witnesses!! How about mining it there he thought to himself as the huddle dispersed. Just as he was settling in his chair to began his day at work his phone chimed. It was Sally who texted him the real estate agency details.

Josh was on a personal mission now that meant he have to trend rather carefully. He himself was not convinced about why he agreed to embark on this journey into the past. Though he got the details of the real estate agency that facilitated this deal but Josh wasn’t sure if this approach is going to dig out the truth. He was skeptical, being a police doesn’t mean deriving information would be easy and considering the reason behind his investigation being quite bizarre . So he decided to trend a different path for his investigation.

“Agencies, department, files – they are all about dimensions, commissions, census, houses but I need to peep into a home. I need to search for a lens that witnessed the time very closely. I need that good old neighbour who is a witness to different transitions that transpired behind those walls” Josh thought.

With the help of his friend working in local municipality office he got details of the old neighbors around the house where Sally resided. One particular lady Mrs.Philipe was around 90 years old and had been a resident in that area since her childhood. Josh was taking his chances as he was toying with a vague idea of inquiring the neighbor under the disguise of a potential buyer for the Sally’s house.

As he ascended the stairs leading to the doorstep of Mrs.Philipe his brain was at the verge of an explosion. Ironically and more or less funnily tales that he heard in his childhood from his grandmother were doing rounds, tales about supernatural phenomenas, ghosts, out of this world creatures and everything entailing were told in abundance along with stories of kings, knights, fairies and everything in between. He chuckled and waved his head in disbelief both at the stories and why he was doing this after all.

He rang the bell and waited at the door. He was sure that getting into a strangers house won’t be easy but luck smiled upon him as the door was opened in an unfathomable manner by his long lost friend from high school Ken.

Josh didn’t recognize him first but it was the other way round. “My Gracious God I never thought of seeing you again Josh, how are you?” Ken was all grin. It took few moments to recollect and recognize and he did exchanged pleasantries.

“Tell me what brought you here and before that tell how are you, where are you, what are you doing?” Ken was clearly excited of this unusual meeting. Josh was also happy of this reunion but the business in his mind kept h busy with permutations and combinations.

Josh rushed through the answers to the questions he was asked and finally reached to the actual purpose of his visit. “Actually my broker was supposed to show the house on the opposite lane, I waited for long but he didn’t turn up. Any idea how this locality is, how that house is …” Josh mumbled a bit.

“Is the house listed, didn’t see in the local papers” Ken exclaimed (Josh was a bit nervous now searching for an answer to his friend’s very valid question). ” Well, it’s not listed yet an informal intimation you see”Josh chuckled nervously. “Oh I see. Anyways I don’t live here as much as I love to be but I am sure my grandmother might give you some insights about the area and houses in her 4-5 km radius. She spent her entire life here and yes a very good neighbor who knows her neighbors and neighborhood well (Ken winked)” and he left to bring his grandmother.

Josh sat in the hall as his eyes took a tour of the same. The walls were adorned with numerous photographs that aged with the walls. His wait was over with the entry of Ken’s grandmother. For a 90+ woman she was quite agile. Standing on her feet, walked with almost no support. She definitely aged well. A brief introduction and Ken announced the purpose of his friend’s visit.

As soom as she heard the address the first thing that escaped her mouth was “that’s cursed!”……

Heard Of This Pyramid?

Originally posted on Candles Online

Two days back at the time of dropping my daughter at school I had a brief conversation with her. She demanded extra biscuits and Yakult in her bag. When I asked the reason she said that her friends take all the snacks she takes to the school. She gets to eat from little to none. I told her though sharing is caring but she also must have her lunch. To this, she naively replied “Mom I know that but my friend Shalbi cries a lot and quite loud too. If I don’t give her Yakult she will continue crying and the teacher will punish her and I don’t want anyone to get punished, that’s why I make her drink my portion and anyways I have water with me”. On the same night as I was preparing my kids for sleep, I cuddled a bit with my son and went to my daughter. She asked if I was “Siddharth’s (my son) love of life”. To this I said yes and not only his but hers’s and their father’s too. She asked me “and what about yours, aren’t you love of your life? Everyone is the love of their own life”. I was amazed and amused at the fact how she is stating the more or less Crux of human life at such a tender age. What might have actually got into her thoughts and does she actually understand the deep meaning hidden in her innocent talks. She inspired me to think hard and given a perspective to work with. Yet I am confused shall I ask her to part away with her snacks or guard them? 😁

Though the above situations and the statements seem to be convoluted and opposing each other per se – self-love and sacrifice are parallels and don’t coincide. But that’s simply because our prism of looking and understanding things is quite micro where our definition of self-love is somehow confined to the concepts of comfort, luxury and hollow happiness. But isn’t the ultimate motive of self-love is attaining happiness and peace of mind? Unfortunately, we forgot about the ultimate while chasing the illusions.

Let’s dive a bit deeper: Human by nature have three inbuilt characteristic traits (Guna) and in the due course of life depending upon evolution, choices made, assimilation of knowledge – spiritually and otherwise these three traits can be arranged like a pyramid ascending which leads to the ultimate destination – self-awareness uniting the soul with the supreme power. Those three traits are –

• Tamo Guna – Tamas means darkness. This trait in a human being is marked by laziness, lethargy and inactivity. If a person is inactive by the virtue of being a lazy person or by the fear of the result of activity there’s no way he can escape the darkness surrounding him and within him. It’s like sitting in a dark room and too afraid to move a finger lest it would get hurt in the darkness yet waiting for someone to switch on the light. Isn’t it foolishness? It can also be the different vices a man lets breed in him blinding him of his purpose in life both materialistic and spiritual. This is the lowest pedestal – thoughtlessness.
• Rajo Guna – This represents the active nature of a man as in where he Acts. We are in a race, to secure a good life for our loved ones, for ourselves, to ensure the safety of family, to prosper, to succeed (definition varies for everyone), precisely we want nothing less than the world to ourselves. It isn’t bad because this drive is keeping the nations going. What else is an economy then if not billions of zealous people working to fulfil their dreams. This is a higher pedestal than the above-mentioned trait. This delivers results for there’s an action. But the problem isn’t with the action but the emotion driving it. When our actions are a result of insatiable hunger for power, money, fame, love (emotional bondage) often fueled by our egos, false pride, greed etc. our mind is a restless churning wheel of thoughts. Most of us are standing at this juncture reeking of agony, dissatisfaction, pain, chasing something unknown eluding us constantly– Full of Thoughts
• Satva Guna – This is the zenith of the pyramid of human nature. Satva means good and pure. As the name itself suggests a person having this trait is in a frame of mind where the realisation actually dawns upon – our concoction has been done in his light – righteous, happy and peaceful. That’s the ultimate destination to be reached on this earth. It is earmarked by virtues like being able to part without clinging on to it, be one’s own company yet maintain the serenity of mind, unaffected by the praise or abuse (not getting carried away, levelheadedness), keeping the mind free of clusters of unnecessary thoughts – both good and bad (a state of neutrality and thankfulness), neither vying for recognition nor complaining about the lack of it. Reaching that pinnacle is the true meaning of Self Love (the state of nirguna the exact replica of the supreme power), a peaceful happy being, isn’t it? This is being thoughtful. When I said no thoughts, it doesn’t equate to the first stage of thoughtlessness. It means acting with an awakened consciousness and not thinking about the result later.

When a human is born these three traits are interwoven. As his journey begins the traits acquire the shape of a pyramid. Whether one reaches the pinnacle or not depends on the realisation and discourse one takes to attain the thoughtfulness yet debunking the clutter of unnecessary thoughts. Where do you stand – give it a thought!!

Miles And More

Originally posted on Candles Online

Surrounded by melancholy as I sat under the rock of my insecurities I was stuck hard by the lightening of chaos. And I was forced…

As I was forced to leave behind my shattered self and trend a new direction my hands held together the broken pieces of a painful heart and haunting memories.

As I commenced my stroll with moist eyes and parched lips, with every mile I left behind the pain in my heart turned into bodily exhaustion yet prevailed a sense of solace.

As I continued my stride forward the strings of expectations entangled with my flimsy fingers broke apart getting my shoulders ready for new hopes and responsibilities.

As I picked up pace the heat that earlier filtered through my skin burning my very soul now seemed to have transformed into rays envisaging a path of possibilities.

As I fought my way through barriers I faltered and devoured by the depths unknown, an attempt to put a halt to the fall lifted my gaze opening up for me the skies.

As I crossed miles and more the soaring distances that rested behind me relieved me of my ambiguity, as my body could no longer feel the prick of thrones nurtured around me I am in a state of tranquility.

As I walked and walked and walked looking at a new horizon in offing I paused to pay homage to my journey so far and wondering what could have led to this agility which wasn’t me.

A realisation dawned upon me, I ran out of choices. Fear of losing has already battered me to death that my existence has already been charred to ashes. Had I not walked away I would have been trampled upon in the name of normalcy & formalities.

Its my fear that instigated to retaliate with resilience, make a move, cover miles and more for I am Phoenix and not Icarus.

I Sense A Presence XVI

Sally was at this moment of time lost yet continued “Josh, I know you would find it insane and call me one but I Sense A Presence in my home. Something seems unworldly, observing me, following me. Some days I get up gasping for breath and sometimes I am covered with bruises all over and some days… I really don’t know how to explain this. There’s a diary that I found in my basement and as I took a plunge into it, I found myself drowning into the world of Mrs.Anne Turner. Every incident she mentioned there found place in my life. And she too had another woman in her life and I have Tracy, though I am not sure yet who is she. It seems like a prophecy. This coincidence, if it is by any chance is blowing my mind. Are you getting what I am trying to say” Sally fixed her pleading gaze at Josh.

But her words put Josh in a fix. Had it been some other he would have easily laughed off them but knowing Sally and her vulnerable state of mind he decided to trend rather carefully. “Look Sally what you are saying might be just your illusion considering the traumatic incident you just had been through. Have you discussed this with Henry?” Josh put the ball in Sally’s court and awaited her response.

Sally sighed heavily “Josh I can’t bring it to Henry’s notice. He already had enough of my madness. He might not show his disbelief and dismay just to comfort me. I don’t want that. I don’t want this crazy mystery to suck Henry in. That leaves only one person to whom I can confide in, it’s you! But if you think my fears doesn’t require any attention then I have to set off my journey alone” and she started getting up to leave.

“Hey Sally listen, I am with you, trust me” Josh placed his hand over Sally’s and gestured her to sit for a while and continued. “But what’s with the time, I really didn’t get you. What exactly you want me to do?

Sally was now assured of being heard and gave an insight of what she had in her mind “Henry isn’t in town for three days, that’s the time I have to unearth this puzzle I am entangled in. I want you to get every possible detail of this house, it’s past that you have to gaze at. Who lived there, what happened there, I want to know everything. I know I am sounding insane but my heart says I might find answers for my present in the past of this house. Unworldly or otherwise my world is definitely hinged to it”.

Josh was quite unconvinced, he was more eloquent now to persuade Sally out of her illusions without apparently dismissing her. “Dear I think your first priority should be to know more about Tracy who most probably a criminal off radar. I am surprised you are not perturbed by the mere thought of it. Let’s focus on Tracy first, I am sure her presence in your house will explain many things. First we have to be sure about her real identity” Josh made an attempt to divert Sally’s attention for he was a practical police officer.

Sally was unmoved as if she heard nothing. Josh know what does that mean. “Which agency helped you with this house deal? But how long will this take I can’t promise and definitely Tracy not off my books” Josh made his stance clear.

To be continued….