Success Comes In Different Forms


Candles Online

Few days back I was gliding through my LinkedIn page. One of my distant relative updated her status “promoted to the position of Director”. I was happy to see her succeed but in another moment started self introspection “what I am doing?” , ” Where I am standing?”, “Will I ever succeed in my life?”. Basically I was anxious about “will I ever be able to EARN?” A question that I am struggling for a longtime now.

But is it just about money? Answer is an absolute NO. It’s about my craving for Identity. My thoughts at that (on many occasions) point were convoluted. I want to earn, I want name for myself, I want financial independence. I kept applying for jobs. Many applications were rejected outright, few made for interview round but success still eluded me. It was not just the applications that were being rejected but a piece…

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Know The Art Of Detachment


Originally posted on Candles Online

Have you ever left food on stove and forgot to turn off at the right time? I am sure not an alien situation. What happens then? Smoke all around, burnt food, burnt vessels, an uphill task of cleaning the mess and not to forget taunts / reprimands 😁. This is exactly close to what happens to us in life if we don’t know the art of detachment in our lives. Anxiety surrounds us as smoke, the vessel that is our body faces the burnt of such anxiety & related issues. Food that is a result of our anxiety & attachment driven actions are highly marred by negative emotions of greed, lust, anger, deception, lies and everything in that cadre. Food or lives, there’s no need to explain how people remember if it isn’t a right(eous) one. If we can’t turn off the fire in time or detach ourselves from the worldly pleasures and bonds then surely we will be charred.

What are the attachments we as human beings have?

* Materialistic Attachment

* Emotional Attachment

* Attachment with our fears

Let’s take on them one by one:

Materialistic Attachments: I will quote a simple example here. A person has a favourite coffee brand that he has been drinking over years as the first thing in the morning and anything else would leave him irritated throughout the day. Due to this reason he would plan his trips with coffee on his itinerary, even it means to going to someone else’s place. We can call it addiction or obsession but it is his attachment to that product that’s causing him this unnecessary trouble. This is an example where the repercussions might not impact others. But then as we move up the ladder (read more inclined towards accumulation) of materialistic attachments like that of money, land, gold etc. – our better sense is slowly replaced by seeds of greed, lust, deception. Why do you think why scams happen? Food for thought, isn’t it?

Emotional Attachment: A small story I would like to narrate from our epic Mahabharata – Guru Dronacharya, the teacher of Kuru Princes loved his son Ashwathama very much. His entire life he toiled to give a better life to his son and see him happy. His constant worry and misconception about Loving one’s kin even made him fight the righteous Pandavas. But the question is was his emotion truly can be defined as Love? No!! Love enables endurance, showing the right path by trending it even if it hurts for a while, love acts like a medicine that might taste horrendous but heals eventually. Let’s take a leaf from the present scenario. A mother punishing a young child for misbehaviour is surely love but the same mother trying to whitewash the same child’s image after few years if he / she picks up a wrong path is not love but emotional attachment.

Fear & Us: Our attachments feed our fear to say the least. If we don’t earn “enough”, if our kids don’t lead a certain patterned life, if we don’t fill in the already set norms of the society we will be ostracized. If we speak up the truth we will be mocked and we will end up sounding not relatable. We have to fit ourselves somehow in the places carved , even if it means denying our conscience. We don’t want to be robbed of our deemed valuables, we fear losing, we fear old age, we fear death, we fear estrangement from loved ones. This is our fear only that results in complications in our relationships feeding our egos. And in this run to the mill the only thing we don’t fear is “losing ourselves” and “sense”. Strange, isn’t it?

Interesting Fact: Most of our pilgrims are located at higher altitudes which requires us to carry as much as less possible baggage with us to make the journey easier. If we closely observe the intrinsic meaning / core of such journeys, it says “if you are coming to me why carry the unnecessary baggage of bonds, fears and attachments. Aren’t you supposed to relieve yourself in my presence?”

Where’s the liberty? Attachments impact us beyond a speck of doubt. But does this mean we take up asceticism right from the word go? Not possible as when born with this human abode we have a set of responsibilities towards our family and society. They need to be discharged with utmost care. But every once in a while we must care to answer “Who Am I?”, “What’s my purpose on this earth?”, “Is making merry the sole purpose of life?”. These questions to yourself will shed light on a new perspective of and towards life. That’s the illuminated path of righteousness where the almighty wants to see us shining in his light. Once that truth dawns upon us we will slowly try to distance ourselves from these attachments that shackled our souls. Our attachment shall be like a pearl of water on the lotus flower, it seems to be attached but never really stick together.

Practice Tip: All of us must practice silence, absolute silence!! No phone, no book but time with you. Start with 10 minutes a day, can increase it gradually. You will soon find the clutter that clogged our minds is getting decluttered. This silence is a teacher that teaches us we can be alone and don’t have to entertain “unnecessary” bonds. That will fill us with the ability to speak the truth and what is right the without fear of being judged. When fear leaves our hearts it is filled with joy. And the joy in your heart makes you understand there’s more pleasure in giving up than accumulating and holding tight.

Go ahead first simmer down and then switch off that stove, let your lives be filled with flavour of Joy that was intended to be. I am your company in this process 😊.

** My work is inspired by the words of Shri Garikapati Narasimham Garu🙏🙏.

Picture credit: Google.

Death Not The End


Candles Online

Zindagi toh bewafa hai ek din thukraayegi,

Maut mehbooba hai, saathi leke jaayega”

These are the lyrics of an old hindi song that I have heard decades ago. It translates to “life is a betrayer, will leave us midway but death is a darling that will surely take us with it”. Profound, isn’t it? Death is the ultimate reality of life. That reminds me of a particular scene from a regional movie – a mother whose son died pleads her husband to do something and revive her son’s life. He agrees but asks her to do one thing “go and get some black sesame seeds from a house / family that haven’t witnessed any death“. She runs from door to door but receives only one answer “SORRY, We just mourned loss of someone”. She collapsed of fatigue but realized one thing Death Is Inevitable! Hence that realization…

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Change The Way You See Me


woman-nature

Dear Society,

You see me as tears, saga of a broken beaten self. But I am a rain drop that has many rainbows hidden in its embrace.

You see me as dust that can be swept under the carpet of your fallacious ego. But I am the earth from whose lap life emanates.

You see me as a heap of leaves that lie shuddering and withered on ground, awaiting for the spring to arrive. But I am the wind that drape seasons and facilitate change.

You see me just as glitter and bling of a shimmery costume that you can discard at will. But I am the fire that holds warmth, brilliance and blaze.

You see me as a fragile bird that you can keep shackled in the cage of restrictions. But I am the sky of dreams and aspirations beyond your comprehension and petty gaze.

You see me as “Just & After All” Woman, a petite body. But I am an embodiment of love, force and strength – the nature itself, an identity here to stay.

Change the way you see me is all I have to say.

From a woman proud of womanhood ❤️❤️.

MAKE SOME SPACE FOR LOVE


Candles Online

Set the alarm for the next day, have put the kids to sleep, hand cream ✔️, moisturizer ✔️, time to hit the sack and before calling it a day one important ritual to perform. Praying ❎, Reading a book ❎, Writing diary ❎, it’s a ritual followed more religiously, relentlessly – social media surfing. Yes, this is my confession laced with a teaspoonful of embarrassment and gallons of regret. What is so embarrassing and regretful about surfing the social networking / media sites, the world is on it. Yes it is but somehow it is not being utilised the way it was intended to. I understand this is becoming quite a confused narration and preachy by miles. Let me make it more comprehensible, let me give you a detour of my state of mind few days back.

Scenario 1: I have a moderately right leaning ideology when it comes to…

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IS CONSUMERISM A COMPLETELY FUTILE CONCEPT?


Candles Online

Demand and Supply run the dynamics of the modern-day world or simply put Economics. Modern-day politics, policies, relationships – be it at the micro or macro level are governed purely by economics. “Size of the market” influences the amount of leverage any nation gets. To influence consumers or say lure them to buy a product, widen the market share is an old practice. With the world becoming a global village, competition is cutthroat and marketing is a serious business. At the end of the day it is to make a consumer believe – BELIEVE US, BUY OUR PRODUCT, HAPPINESS GUARANTEED!! And this is called Consumerism, to make (attract) the consumers believe that their happiness quotient in life will be enhanced if they buy a certain product.

Is Consumerism Bad? From a purely economic point of view, it is not. The entire machinery of the economy runs and depends on aggregate…

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Let’s Talk Some Economics


Article originally posted on Candles Online

What does “work from home” mean to different parties? For the one who is working it means no grooming required, pajamas would do for days on a trot, spreadsheets sharing screen space with prime or Netflix – basically, more about comfort, isn’t it? But can the same be said about the housewife who always works at and for home? A straightaway No or might not be. For many it could mean no time to let hair down at all. Aged Parents think “since you are at home why can’t you spare time, why are you on the screen all the time, you don’t talk to us“. So it’s different for everyone. “Work from home” has it’s own pros and cons varying from perspective to perspective.

So thinking about the “work from home Vs work from office” debate I stumbled on a thought “how does place of work impacts the economy“. Let’s take a mini tour into it.

Have you ever seen any office (as a structure/building) standing in isolation? Never (or say it’s a rarity). As soon as an office starts running, buzzing with people it serves as an opportunity for many other ancillary setups. For example, a cafeteria, a snack center, a stationary/Xerox center in case of educational or government offices, a tea stall, petty vendors like that of cigarettes, and many following the suit co-exists with the primary “office”. So the staff working and the people visiting the premises naturally provide business to the aforementioned entrepreneurs (not the scale but dignity matters). Turnover means income, and income means further possible spending creating more rounds of income and consequent spending. This is called the multiplier impact. More income and spending is the backbone of any economy. Incentives and investments are made to boost up the spending stimuli of the people. In that scenario closing of offices purely means a down spiral impact on the economy and the world is experiencing the same. Economic Depression is the offspring of the same negative multiplier impact.

Closing of offices might mean nothing much to the white-collared job holders but it’s a definite blow to the blue collared job holders since they usually are hired / work on an ad-hoc basis and their work can’t be remote so the very concept of “work from home” cease to exist for them. Also the social security schemes and other perks for such apparently minuscule jobs aren’t much overwhelming. In their case, it’s either go to the work or sit idle. The gatekeepers, guards, janitors, etc comprise this group and definitely don’t have a place in empty offices. This pandemic and work from home period also spelled doom for the daily wage earners and housemaids. On this account “work from home” is a horrifying practice and not to repeat the no income – no spending – crippled economy routine.

“Work from office” aids in generating state revenues. No matter whatever country we are in, a large proportion of the working population utilizes public transport for commuting to work :

Local Train
Metro

State-run buses, local trains, metro, trams – lifelines of any city. They not only facilitate hurdle free commuting but fetch a huge revenue on a daily basis to the government in the form of fares. Due to the pandemic and advent of work from home, people are no doubt confined to their spaces but the fiscal deficits are spreading wider and wider.

The world is amidst a grave issue, handling a double-edged sword. Work from home is an alternative to keep us going but sadly the fuel (read the GDP numbers) is not enough to steer any nation through. On personal front onsite/offsite work, both have a well-balanced impact on our lives yet individually. But for a greater good offices need to open ASAP.

No matter how advanced a nation is in technology not everything can be done ONLINE. The entire world on the same page of collapsing fiasco speaks volumes about this truth.

You Can Do Everything Except…


Picture credit : Google

Your smile melts me,

Your pain petrifies me,

Your anger worries me,

Your embrace soothes me,

Your call awakens me,

Your progress delights me,

Your purity enchants me,

Your helplessness weakens me,

Your faith in me strengthens me,

Your sweet (not street) smartness amuses me,

You can make me smile, reel in pain, frown, worry, struggle, brave, fight.

You have gifted a rainbow of emotions to my heart which wonders if ever it would ably accommodate this treasure in that petty corner.

Today I want you to hear this once and for all:

You can do everything except to embarrass me.

(A small heartfelt note by every autism parent to their kids )

If I Can Trade My Words….


Originally posted on Candles Online

“If I can trade my words I would invest them in your smile”

That’s pretty much cheesy, right out of a popcorn romantic flick, isn’t it? Don’t blame me, I am currently watching way too many Disney movies – Prince, Princess, Love story, perfect fairy tales. They not only entertain me but a perfect recipe to cheer me up. Apart from that my phone’s gallery is my hideout. Binge eating, unforeseen shopping (apart from groceries ) are more or less commoners in the world of “let me cheer you” force.

But it is undeniable that no matter how much ammunition one has to ward off shadows of gloom, a strong shoulder to lean on and an empathetic & soothing word is still an unmatched comfort. We can falter and crumble at some point, all while throwing around a charade of being strong. We do need someone to ask and say “How are you?”, “I understand”, “I am with you”, “what can I do to cheer you up”, “you are strong”, “you deserve much more”, “relax, I am there for you”, “just chill”, ” let’s hangout, don’t bother for anything else”

Why do one need someone or something to Cheer themselves up? When one gets tired of chasing dreams, battling adversaries, struggling demons ranging from bullies to inner enemies of that of depression / anxiety, our mind send us SOS. Nursing of a dented spirit is so much needed to bring it back on its feet. All the apparent and oblivious battles deplete us of our both physical and mental strength and that’s when exactly doubts trend – Can I fight it out? Can I do this after all? Seems I am unworthy? This is proving futile, let’s quit? I have lost everything? Was it meant to be this after all? If these questions left to knock too much one’s soul they can bring sabotage the same beyond repair. That’s the very reason we are talking about this issue at the first place today. Be attentive dearies!!

Me as a person on the other side of the fense, in the capacity of a friend (universal relationship with every related person in our lives) got a weird sense of intuition (I can be boastful sometimes, kindly excuse me). With people whom I am in regular touch with can easily read between the lines from our seemingly “Fine” conversation. From dry OKs, lifeless HMMs, tone of “I am fine” in chats I can tell not everything is fine. May be rapport over years is the reason. Whenever I sense something off, the first thing I do is to pester them with one question “what happened”. Sometimes no matter how close you might be some investigation is imperative. *Note: an immediate call in person rather a chat always scores. Lending an inquisitive ear is very important. I believe in strongly saying this “I know it’s easy to say that I understand and be strong because I am not there in your shoes. But also I know that you have fared much better in more worse situations in life before, you will surely see the shore surely. You are loved. You matter to us, just remember this. And for anything else I am here, Talk to Me”.

A page from my therapeutic experiences (if you can call talking one): a friend of mine who now shifted to Switzerland had her share of self esteem blues (parenting can really take a toll). We used to talk a great deal. My only aim was to cheer her up invoking her love and confidence in herself. I used to say “You are doing great”. These words seem very simple but might rekindle the positivity streak within one self. Might work at least 5 out of 10 times. Even if it is 1 out of 10 it’s worth giving it a try!! And what made be happy was she used to say “talking to you brings positivity to me, I feel relaxed”. Can anything beat that?

Words can make or break so I chose the first one.

“If you are giving chocolates don’t forget to mix sweetness of words – for someone sweet like you.

If you are hanging out don’t forget to imbibe these words in the itinerary – it’s always so much fun with you.

If you are gifting diamonds to lift up the spirits don’t forget to polish them with words – for someone more precious than these.

If you can only talk then don’t forget to send your warmth via vocals – thank you for being with me, so PROUD OF YOU!!!”

Words make a lot of difference – period.