Mother-Daughter Diaries


Originally posted on Candles Online

Mom I have a doubt,” said my 6 years old daughter. “What’s it dear?” I asked, to be only left stumped by her question. “Why papa loves you when your face is full of spots?”. I am not even exaggerating, those were really her words. And I don’t really want to blame her, it’s her exposure to the fairy tales where the princess is all fair and flawless. I can understand with the kind of exposure kids of this generation have the kind of questions they might ask seem to be too soon, too early, and to be honest too much too. I wanted to give her a reason, perhaps a lecture on what true love (ironically beyond the gamut of reasoning) means but considering her age my explanation would be “Too much” for her to comprehend.

I simply asked, “Don’t you love me with all these blemishes on my face?”. And she didn’t budge as she said “I love you, Mama, you are the best” and she gave me a kiss as she hurried to get into the school before the final bell rang. Perhaps one day I will be able to provide a better explanation to satiate her query.

Raising kids (generation alpha) as my dear friend @sizzlybizzly (Rajnandini from Candles Online) has explained in her article OF SENSE AND SENSIBILITY, could really be a tight rope walk. Explaining them to react and behave differently in apparently similar-looking situations is quite a task. For instance, as a family with a reasonably comfortable life, I encourage my daughter to help the poor and needy and that seems to be well embedded in her thoughts. But on the other hand, I also warn her against falling for tricks of people who pretend to be needy to avoid sweating it out. And reasoning (explaining how to and why to differentiate) such situations in my personal capacity prove to be difficult ones given the fact that my daughter is a bit impatient. The moment I start dissecting the matter for clarity she says “I don’t understand what are you saying” or worse “enough Mama, not now, just play with me”.

As a parent, I want to clarify every doubt that dwells in my child’s brain. Sometimes I have substantial corroboration to my answers that I can give her instantly, for example why plucking fruit from the tree isn’t the same thing as butchering a goat, when both are done to serve the same purpose – to fill up a hungry stomach. Sometimes I am at a loss of my reasoning abilities altogether. Like why the letter U hasn’t been pronounced the same way in “Put”, and “But” because I never questioned it (maybe my friend @theextraaaamile, Savio from Candles Online, has an answer to this 😃). And then there are moments I have reasons to support my reaction/responses but as I mentioned earlier they could be too complicated for a child to comprehend. For example, when I tell my daughter to be social & adjustable to and under different circumstances, and be independent (not seeking validation from others or succumbing to any pressure) at the same time. That’s a tough call as I have to hand out her reasons sans ambiguity of any sort.

All said and done I have realized that in the process of parenting I am growing up too. My role as a parent is a reason enough to be a better version of myself every day. With so many sources of information and influence around, kids surely need a security filter, a cushion to rely on. And that’s where the power of reasoning comes in handy. Valid the reasons are, better the chances of nurturing mature minds. It’s really important that doubts of any nature shouldn’t be squashed away under the pretext of “nothing concerning you”, especially when we impart the knowledge of DOs and DON’Ts to shape their personalities and ideologies.

My journey with the extra “administrative” responsibility of Reasoning has just begun as my daughter has just started questioning. I should be better prepared for the bazooka of questions blazing at me, she hasn’t even scratched the surface yet and there’s an ocean to dive in.

Will-Knowledge-Action


It’s a story of the reunion of a man with his daughters. A man had three daughters from whom he got separated. The three sisters were Ichcha, Kriya, and Vidya. He was leading a miserable life, until one day when the three girls reached his house and asked for shelter, as they were tired of playing. As it was dark outside the man decided to let the three little girls halt in his house.

The darkness was so terrible and threatening. The darkness was an invitation for the robbers to intrude into the boundaries of the house. They slowly started digging the foundation of the house. Their purpose was to crash the house and loot. As the walls trembled in that dark night, so was the man. This is not new to him. All his life he was under constant attack of burglars in the veil of night. He lurked in the darkest corner of the house to save himself. The three sisters were sleeping in the corner where he hid. He tucked himself into a shell, hoping that the violent blows to his house and self recede somehow.

As the man was consumed by his struggle, Ichcha woke up due to the commotion inside and out of the house. She saw the man struggling, she rose to help him. She peeped from the window, she could see some light in the distance. Also, she saw the relentless exercise to weaken the security that man had was being carried out. She had a plan in her mind “If I could take this man to that point I will be able to save him”. She tried to pick him up, but the weight of the man was crushing her. She gave a call to her elder sister Kriya and immediately she grabbed the other hand of the man. He slowly picked himself up with the help of the sisters and made an advancement towards the door to get out of the darkness surrounding him.

But the saga of fear was still not over for the man. His feet were stumbling over the hurdles placed across his path in a bid to stop him from reaching the light. As the sisters held the man and they were occupied, they called their eldest and strongest sister. She came, fought, and conquered the plunderers, paving a way for the man to make a safe exit from the darkness. The fight wasn’t easy. The attackers kept coming back to attack the man from different sides, the other sisters were slowly crumbling under the fatigue of carrying the man. But the one who was fighting was nowhere close to extinguishing or exiting. She was gaining impetus as she was blowing away her counterparts and a part of her energy she was transmitting to her sisters too. It was a long night before they finally made it.

With the help of the three sisters, that man reached his destination. When he reached the enlightened spot he recognized his estranged daughters and embraced them. He vowed to never ever part from them as they released him from the haunted place he was dwelling in. And they happily lived ever after in the land where the sun never sets in.

End Credits (cast of the story):

Sisters: Youngest Sister (Ichcha) – Will; Second Sister (Kriya) – Action; Eldest (strongest) Sister (vidya) – Knowledge

Man: The Human Soul

Weight: Self-doubt

Thieves: Vices like greed, lust, anger, hate, etc.

Hurdles: negativity and pessimism in the form of harsh comments, blame game.

Light/ Enlightened spot: The happy space where the mind is in total control of its actions and not affected by the actions of the villains surrounding.

Moral of the story: It takes the three sisters of Will, Action, and Knowledge to accompany a man (figuratively) to cross the hurdles of vicious backlashes and the fear of failure.

**Note: This tale is an inspiration taken from the verse “Ichcha Shakti Gyana Shakti Kriya Shakti Swarupini” from Lalitha Sahasranama (1000 names of goddess Lalitha). She is a source of divine knowledge, energy, and positivity and if reposed faith in her she is the ultimate guide to for human deliverance.

Widen The Horizon Of Your Happiness


Bestowed with intelligence, comprehension, and the ability to express like no other living being under the sun has ever had, man is ironically the most unhappy creature on the earth. With every advancement man has made throughout the history of human evolution he surely has scaled greater heights of measurable successes which unexpectedly transformed into an inverse relationship with the happiness quotient which is intangible. Well, this is not another cliché lecture about “Money can’t buy happiness” or ” Successful doesn’t mean happy”, because one can be both successful and happy at the same time. In fact. They are not interchangeable but can co-exist. It is about introspecting the horizons of happiness that we have demarcated for ourselves.

Let me ask you one thing. Rather I would prompt you to do this exercise yourself, ask yourself a question – What makes you HAPPY? How often happy you are? Does your happiness require quite an investment? Does it take a custom-made validation rule book for moments to qualify as happy ones? What is the contribution of things, people/relationships, events/moments in constituting happiness for you? How do you handle failures and rejections, to be precise for how long do unfavourable circumstances in the due course of life keep you bogged down and disturbed?

A detour: Think about the saints or sages who practiced rigid austerity both materialistically and emotionally. They were like the lotus leaves, dwelling in the water yet never drenched or drowned in it. Their soul has experienced detachment from every bond, no rejoice in gain, no remorse in loss (Bhagwad Geeta’s essence), and consequently attained eternal happiness. Now let’s talk practically, about people like me, you and us.

We ain’t saints. We are very much attached, materially and emotionally. We associate our actions with the results, and when the results don’t meet our expectations we experience remorse, frustration, anger putting both our bliss, concise thinking and, faith in jeopardy. In short, we are stark opposites to those whom I did mention above. But then they were born with blood and flesh like us, then what did they do differently to attain that state of Paramananda (highest point of happiness, ultimate bliss) especially when the soul is willing but the flesh is weak (A Bible quote).

Few hypothetical examples –

  • You have put in a lot of hard work and finally got your appraisal (though the percentage or the position wasn’t up to your expectations) and on another occasion, you helped a needy person without expecting anything in return.
  • You have invited a person in a powerful position and heaped the same with gifts and praises with an ulterior motive of reaping some benefits in your favour. On another occasion you have aided a child from a marginal family (and in no relation) to attain education with the only intention of giving that child a chance – a chance to gain knowledge, better the future and probably induce a butterfly effect on the society.
  • In the surveillance of a camera or a cop you abide by the rules (due to the FEAR of not getting caught or given a ticket). On the other hand, you act out of LOVE for your family and friends.

In each of the examples, the first part of the act was done in expectation, greed, and fear. The majority of our actions align with those lines. We expect results, we have greed driving our intentions and We fear God (to a greater extent the society as well) and put a charade of being good. And as Newton’s law states “every action has an equal and opposite reaction” all these actions do have reactions. Might be momentary gains or grief (to nurse it or not is our prerogative). Coming to the later part of the examples – No expectation, pure intention, and Love. No points for guessing what such acts mean to anyone – Pure Joy.

Coming Back To The Point: It’s all about the Practice: I believe it’s clear from the examples above as to what differentiates us from saints or what is hindering/ narrowing down our horizons of happiness. To begin with, we must firmly believe that God isn’t a separate entity. He dwells very well within us. That belief when strengthened would gradually encourage us to act in his light out of love and not fear (often wrongly used interchangeably in the context of God). Act and not expect, finally the mantra for a blissful life.

Well, that was straight from the philosophy. Or we can say practically not possible in the competitive world we live in. What we need to put into practice to reach that stage is to keep our intentions pure (the least we can do, to begin with). A petty example: Make it a habit to contribute a small percentage of your earnings to whatever cause you to believe in, that would cover two bases – No expectations, Completely selfless, Pure Intention – (MY friend, Siva Priya and my uncle &aunt are few examples of selfless service for me to follow, they live exactly the way that would induce eternal happiness). When the intention of our actions are more inclined and reserved for the greater betterment, driven by compassion we won’t expect anything in return other than the fulfillment of the cause we have served. And when such acts performed more often, that would naturally serves as the breeding ground for certain detachment necessary for a happy being.

Additional Tips: Accept own faults and flaws (blame game is lethal), spend some time in silence with self, understand the difference between price and value (sometimes learned really hard ways). Everyday when you pray try asking the God for universal happiness (for everyone) “Sarvejana Sukhino Bhavantu” . And not to forget to be always grateful for what we have.

Hope we all raise and expand our horizon of happiness and help each other in this journey.

Special Credit : My friend Vinitha Viswanath put it correctly “Happiness has to be chosen, momentary or eternal are the options

Between The Journey And The Destination


A road through rocks, watercolor painting – Kalpana Vogeti

Originally posted on Candles Online

Marooned amidst the desert of nothingness,
surrounded by the mountains of despair,
the traveler’s intellect summoned him the ultimatum.
“Your journey has come to an end,
take this cloak of melancholy and drape yourself,
let the crown of failure adorn you
as you put a halt to your momentum”.

Saddled by the burden of his dereliction,
the traveler turned into the sediment of brunt hopes
whose dreams dissipated and poured down stony eyes
touching his parched lips,
He was exhausted and slipped into a deep slumber,
believing it to be the end of his ordeals.
But soon his thirst beseeched him
to look out for a potion to sip.

He rose from the heap of his molten & mangled desires
to quench his thirst and reinstate his trudge.
In the darkness of ignorance, he sensed fear Again,
fear of losing- not life but existence,
He ran incessantly, tearing apart the clutter of notions
that chained and suffocated his soul for a long time.
He reached an untrodden path, with a panting breath
he had to choose between quitting and deliverance.

He stared at the path,
cut through the rigid rocks of pessimism,
it gleamed in the light of knowledge and was enticing him
to pick up his crutches of will and action and recommence his stride,
He held his trembling heart and spoke to his upset intellect
“let me try one more time, let me search for the victory,
I might not reach my destination, but let me glide through
this journey with a sense of pride.”

************************************

Did the traveler reach his destination? Did he fall into the potholes of vices? Did the bondages of self-doubt imprison him again? Was he able to quench his thirst? Was his thirst solely his materialistic desire or it was a dawn of realization? Questions still need an answer but nevertheless, this story is about the road that initiated the journey!!!!

One More Time…


The bird of hope fluttered high and was dashed strongly with disappointment. Bruised and hurt, everyone expected it to give up, but it said “just hurt, not broken yet, let me try One More Time”.

It soared high again, hiding its pain under the wings of smile. Thunder of failure burnt its wings, making it crash to the depths of despair and doom. But it said, “just broken, not dead yet, let me try One More Time”.

It kept looking at the skies, marred by the dark clouds of pessimism yet searching for the silver lining to guide its way. In its longing, breath eluded its body and it said “just dying, not finished yet, I will find you again & try One More Time”.

**A page from every success story where every hurdle became a stepping stone, every failure became a lesson future reference, every insult became fuel to “try One More Time”.

I Wish…


Originally Posted On Candles Online

Rocking her baby, bogged down by the opinion of nay-sayers around and about her, her gaze traversed the window. She saw another woman donning the hat of an “equal breadwinner” for her family and making her stride into the world. She thought “I wish I was in her shoes” 

Marching ahead towards her awaiting deadlines and agendas as her heart was crushing hard under the gloom she was carrying. “Not a mother yet” pricked through her heart. She rolled down the windowpane as she saw a kid jumping in muddy puddles with glee as the mother looked on with joy. She thought “I wish I was in her shoes”.

The happiness of the kid was short-lived as his father reprimanded him for being a mess. As the kid was being dictated by commandments of DOs & DON’Ts that sad face rolled to the other side and saw a rich man surrounded by a brigade of servants and only his say mattered. The kid thought “I wish I was in his shoes”.

The rich man as he awaited for his vehicle to arrive saw a young man riding a bike with his guitar hung across his back. It reminded him of his lost love in the depths of oblivion while he chased new heights tirelessly. The rich man thought “I wish I was in his shoes”.

The young man whose struggles have just begun in the pursuit of his passion pondering over his future probabilities and possibilities felt the heat of venturing out in the tricky, tough and often merciless stage called the world. He stopped by a house to ask for a glass of water. A lady came out with her baby in her arms and it reminded the young man of what a safe haven home is. Looking at the baby, the young man thought “I wish I was in his shoes”.

And the baby in the arms of the mother who was sleeping blissfully smiled in his sleep…

This is a simplistic view of how we perceive and look at the world. Deep down in our hearts, we are convinced that others are happier than us. Our eyes are open to looking at the merrier view and our shallow wisdom restricts our capability to even conceive the thought that every story has a different background and narration. As we grow up, horizons of our intelligence definitely expand but wisdom is seldom not proportionate to our age. It is like a beautiful cover page of a magazine that attracts our attention, mesmerized by the gloss and the colour we instantly forget that it’s a collaborative effort of many technicians and technicalities. About the physical, emotional, mental stress people might undergo in the process is not even a distant thought in our thoughts, for we are takers of only happy faces. And not to mention that our obsession with those pretty faces is so much that we start to loathe our reality – a harbinger for unhappiness, think about it !!

There’s Someone Else Who Needs You – It’s You!!


Originally Posted on Candles Online

Crossing the realms of love and sacrifices that keep relationships alive and working, there is a highly guarded zone that we are not privy to – “Sometimes I am Unhappy”. Unhappiness crops from the fact that we are mentally not prepared to delegate or chuck down the pressures off our shoulders to prepare and keep them strong for responsibilities.

Over the years our brains have been fed with extremely wrong notions about how roles (as in relationships) should be carried out. And what rules the roost among such manipulated picklists is Sacrifice which more concisely mean “Stop caring for yourself”, “Never Complain”, “Speaking up, out & against strictly prohibited” and at the end of the day we frown and fall asleep with resentment.Over the years of observation and study, I have realized we often misuse the word “Sacrifice” in our lives. An instance: I sacrificed my last slice of pizza for the sake of my son and spent the whole night navigating through the Pizzahut brochure and drooling over the colorful images and not to mention that I mentioned my bravado act to my husband zillion times. Does my act count as Sacrifice? My understanding says No because sacrifice demands both detachment and satisfaction as a result. And in this case, both were missing. And this is how dissatisfied lives look like under the camouflage of sacrifice.

Am I suggesting selfishness? Please hold your horses We have this bad habit of polarising everything (if you have an interest in Indian politics you will understand this better ) There is always a midground for addressing the issues concerning our lives. If you are purchasing an unaffordable ticket to a Rockband concert that you love giving your child’s term fees a miss or ignoring your next month’s home loan EMI, that’s Selfish (you can add idiotic too). But instead of involving in such compulsive, impulsive, stupid acts you have arranged a karaoke night at your place with your friends and family or had a good cards game night. Now you are in a happy space even if you have given up on something you like and definitely sans rant “Maine kya kya nahi kiya iss Ghar ke liye par uff nahi kiya” (there’s nothing that I haven’t done for this house and never complained), ironically in a complaining tone. This is the realization that I am suggesting as this is the change I have discovered that I should go for – Stop Complaining, Start Living, and Loving. First things first we should stop tagging words like “sacrifice” at the drop of a hat; That word got a deeper connotation to it. These are the little adjustments we are making with many financial, situational, emotional constraints and forces in work. We in relationships mean us shouldering the responsibilities prioritizing others ahead of us, be it our kids, parents or partners, and so on. And in our exercise of keeping things afloat day in and day out we are somehow ignoring someone really important calling us from within, it’s our innate self only, demanding some moments of happiness and relaxation. And there’s nothing to feel guilty about it. If you can’t keep yourself happy you can’t do the same to your loved ones too. Let me give you a picture of the other side of my personality which I am unapologetic about – I am a very irritated person almost like a twilight beast as the Sunday evening approaches and if my kids don’t tuck into their beds by 8PM they see the worse in me. I simply hate Sunday evenings when they prolong, for I am waiting for my Monday week off following Sunday, in absence of which I might go insane and not to mention the heavy toll on my physical health. And my rude behavior that might come across as unruly, unexpected, and unacceptable on every account is simply an indication that I need my space to rejuvenate myself to carry off my responsibilities as a mother and a wife. If they need me, I need me too, isn’t it?

Suppress it, It will pent up: All of you must have attended history classes at some point of time in your life, isn’t it? What was the reason behind all the major revolutions in history marking major transitions for people, undoubtedly Suppression! Suppressed by the tyranny and injustice, an upsurge of strong emotions spearheaded the revolutions, quite bloody one in fact. Now let me tone down the scale of comparison and make it personal. What would happen if you suppress pain for a long time in your body, it will pent up and show itself as a disease, sometimes chronic and beyond repair. Our emotions aren’t different. The need to vent out our pent-up negative emotions/ frustrations (not directed towards people though) at regular intervals is of paramount importance and shouldn’t be a guilt-ridden exercise. There are days when we feel lethargic, we want to dress up, want to eat our favourite meal, catch up on our favourite series, grab that last piece of cake, and many more things where we usually put ourselves down the hierarchy of “whose needs or wants matter”. The point is simple – Everyone matters so do You!!

My call to you all – You have to be present there in good health – mentally, physically, and emotionally because cardboard cut-outs can’t give warmth to your loved ones. And yes they are not superhumans to know how you feel unless you express it. If sensitivity is alive well and good, if god forbid not then don’t be guilty of you are not a magic wand either!!!

Virally Not Yours


Originally posted on Candles Online

Husband (looking into the mirror): Honey!!! Honey!!!

The wife comes running from the balcony with a phone in her hand. “Why are you screaming dear? You just spoiled my reel!! What on earth made you scream your lungs out? It better be something that needs my attention.”

Husband: What do you mean by “your attention”. Look what happened to my trousers (pointed towards his trouser that was unevenly ripped only on the left and interestingly it’s not even denim but a regular formal one).

Wife: Oh that thing! I did it. You know my friend made a reel with her husband in a torn shirt and got over a million views. I want to make a better reel and surpass that number, that’s why this ( and she giggles leaving her husband bemused). Honey we need to make funny videos to keep our numbers ticking. We can’t just relax and let others take a lead.

Husband: Yeah funny, hmm. Why don’t you switch on the camera and say that you are Smart!! Funny isn’t it? (Left the room with wife smirking and getting busy with her camera)

Sarcasm and agony were written all over that husband’s face which was just a reflection of the restlessness of his wife – restless to make her presence felt on the social platform, restless for churning numbers of views and likes, restless for relevance in the context of trends.

I might have given a fictional account of a couple but the scenario isn’t fictional altogether. From vacation pictures of celebrities to absurd challenges; from transformation videos to derision of people in the name of comedy; from cringe like breaking out dancing in the middle of the street to being violent to random people – all in the wake of getting “Viral” and gaining attention. What started as harmless fun has now attained the status of more or less a gluttony that has messed badly with our brains, draining off sanity and peace leaving behind a worked and worn-out mind.

Get yourself some rest: Often we hear the term detoxify and the importance of cleansing one’s body. Very much needed indeed in the wake of the content we consume (like literally what goes in -what we eat) and our relatively less physically active lifestyles. But with our exposure to social media and its content, our brain too has consumption. Wanted – unwanted; sensitive – bizarre; informative – crazy – say it, have it. It’s a buffet out there. And the brain too gets tired of consuming tirelessly a plethora of junk. And from consumption to serving dishes we have completed a full circle. And the problem arises when the circumference of that circle enlarges. When we are on the consuming side we more often than not let our thoughts processes skew and let emotions embroil accordingly. Let’s go to the other side of the fence. Once a post is made, the next desire is to see it finding the reach – having clicks, views, likes, comments, shares, subscribers, followers, going viral. It’s a pretty much numbers game!! Pretty entangled. And when those expectations are not met we feel bad and rejected. We are in a self-doubting mode – was it good enough? Worse, many also go through existential crises as for them it’s about getting those impressions. We may accept it or not, our brains too need detoxification – a digital one. Our thoughts need a break from that constant worry of being able or not to impress others. Aimless wandering aiming for a set of benchmark numbers is an ailment for sure. Evading from the social scene from time to time is the best possible cure/ detoxification method. This is not a new thing that I am phrasing out here but definitely a less-trended path.

Few exercises (questions) we constantly need to do:

  • Does our private life need an audience every time?
  • If the answer is yes to the above question then are we ready to ably handle the unwanted commentary (not supporting it by any means)?
  • Why and how do opinions of strangers in the virtual world matter?
  • Are you sure that all the happy faces on the internet are happy in reality as well?
  • What if at this very moment “I forget my password for every social account of mine and there’s no possibility to retrieve the same for a long period”, will that affect my quality of life?

These questions from time to time will give a reality check. This is not bashing social media but a small attempt to bring to notice that conscious consumption/supply is of paramount importance. That lets the brain breathe and think. Our brain too deserves rest and it doesn’t mean completely devoid and deprived of thoughts/ ideas/ opinions but it means better utilization of it and not squandering it for trivial and unimportant things.

Sharing my experience: I am a politically center to right-aligned person. I was on Twitter where I thought I could speak my mind. But soon I found myself to be really affected by what others said. I rejoiced when I found the same voices, I disliked (always in the realm of cordial disagreement) the otherwise opinion (though pondering over arguments backed with strong reasoning and logic) and really hurt over crude comments that had the sole objective of abusing the people who don’t agree with their perspective. That left me thinking over and over, worried for some unexplained reasons. I was getting anxious and that was evident on my face. My husband intervened at right time. He said,” if you can’t remain level-headed and if social media debates are leaving you hassled, if words of unknown faces ring in your head, if you can’t see it as a way to pass of your time then you should better be off the wagon”. He was in a jovial mood when he said those things to me but I took it up as a piece of trial advice. Deleted my Twitter account, reduced my Facebook and Instagram engagement immediately. And to my surprise found myself lighter by many notches. My presence on social media wasn’t for the numbers yet it affected me as I was weak and let it do so. I always maintained and practiced – acceptance is the key!!

Be a Voice not noise: The point is how we create or consume content on social media. The presence of social media in our lives is nothing less than a boon where ideas, perspectives, creativity are given a buoyant push towards the public eye. But discretion is always necessary as to how the creators and the consumers behave. What we are experiencing now is a rush to be visible and seemingly relevant than actually making sense. This extreme pressure we are exerting on ourselves is making it a noise than a voice. Users’ discretion is so important, isn’t it?

Try to take a break and make this idea viral 🙂

Reboot The System, Slay The Demon !!!


Little Chaani was watching her favourite cartoon series on YouTube. Suddenly an advertisement popped up. It was a scary one. With demonic figures charging up, roaring at each other and inflicting carnage on everything and everyone, Chaani got scared and ran to her mother. Mother skipped the ad and consoled Chaani. Chaani gathered herself and asked her mother, “Mom are demons real?”

Mom smiled and said “no darling that’s all imagination, demons don’t exist. Don’t get scared” and hugged Chaani tightly and put her to sleep. That night mother watched her closely if that advertisement would have an impact on Chaani’s sleep. Night passed off well and the next day Chaani left to school happily. Before leaving Chaani posed one question that engaged thoughts of mother for a very long time. Chaani asked “Mom can imagination yield something so alien or a completely non existing thing? Aren’t demons real?”

Mom didn’t say anything but smiled and saw her off. But she had an answer so complicated that she believed it would be out of the little girl’s comprehension. Answer was “Yes demons are for real”.

Demons are not the caricatures we see onscreen but they dwell well amidst us and within us, peeping through the cracks in our character. Always on a lookout to unleash themselves upon us, commanding us to submit and surrender ourselves (souls) to the ulterior motives.

With those heavy thoughts the mother tapped he phone to check out the news with her morning coffee. She tumbled over different “Viral” materials across the internet, making their way to the news portals. A group of bullies beating a lone person mercilessly; an officer abusing subordinates and general public while misusing the authority bestowed; miscreants ill treating (vis a vis torturing) animals just for fun; both the genders getting harassed on various pretexts while transgenders still getting mocked up to an extent of utter humiliation for just being a part of nature’s scheme and everything ranging from witty to atrocious. A sigh escaped her lips that had disgust written all over. And she submerged herself in deep introspection:

More than the brutality of the incidents the silence of spectators busy in capturing the episodes in their phones is quite bone chilling. Demons that we are acquainted with are blood thirsty creatures who thrive on the weakness, sorrow and fear of others. We had a notion that demons are unworldly and against humans. But a bird’s eye view at the times we are living in it is clear that it’s has nothing to do with a certain type of specie. It’s about humanity which is almost incessantly depleting from the human race. To worsen the woes what we are witnessing is an oscillation between apparent demons (driven by greed, lust, anger, ego) and slow poison (the mute spectators who claim to be peace loving and the law abiding people).

Between the demons and slow poison, it’s the slow poison that is posing a great threat to humanity as it is gifting away the encouragement for such insidious and horrific plans of scrupulous souls to be put into action. Precisely the slow poison of the thought process called “why get involved” is ushering life into the ideology of “who will dare”. In a way the periphery system to the humanity – our value system is paralysed. We react, regret and forget but don’t act at the very first place. Over the years of evolution we have technically advanced but morally been (still) through a downward spiral. We are somehow habituated to live in a cocoon, a bubble from where we pray – to keep Us / Ourselves safe and happy; from where we have a view of everything happening around us and hope nothing unfortunate lands at our doorstep; from where we certainly talk about the cruelties of the wicked ones but don’t speak against it because we are more or less paralysed by one question “Why Get Involved?“. This illusion that our silence will save us from problems is like believing that we might save ourselves from a wild fire by simply changing our path or keep the catastrophic tornado at bay using an umbrella. Sooner or later we all will get engulfed.

To Sum it up – We are aware and woke but not awake.

Our System is infected – Since we made an incredible and unfathomable amount of technological advancements let us talk in technical terms. Considering the human society as a system say a computer that is connected to the entire ecosystem via peripherals of values and responsibilities. Time and again this system is being attacked by the virus of beastiality and over the years various technicians (leaders/ law makers) through their tireless research enabled a security for the system. Security include laws and regulations, code of conducts. But that has not been able to completely secure the system, in fact over a period of time the defence of the system has been weakened considerably. Reason – corrosion of the peripheral that made the security rather ineffective. But the technicians and the users are still turning their user manuals to find defect. It’s high time that we revive the connections with certifications of “compassion”, “gratitude”, “unity” towards the entire system.

Reboot is thy need of the hour!!

Buzz Of Failure


Completely rattled by a relentless commotion,

I looked around to ascertain the origin of this motion.

More I dug deep and looked around, more I felt disappointed,

For there’s only a vacuum sucking me in and left me disoriented.

There’s a myriad of reasons to be celebrated with glee,

Also there’s despair marking it’s presence, lurking around rearing to engulf me.

I ran incessantly to escape the deafening roar chasing my existence,

Only to find the horizons closing on me, throttling every trivial glimmer of resistance.

I clasped my hands to hold on to a cover to shut off that nerve wracking noise,

I believed that shore is finally in reach, so is my sanity and poise.

But truth finally dawned upon me, it was the cry of pain emanating from the heart,

A barrage of piled up emotions that sedimented for ages now determined to tear me apart.

I realized for long I have been walking without moving an inch,

ache of being rejected, failing, falling is making it’s voice felt now with a pinch.

Nothing achieved so far , not sure of any success in future,

Its the buzz of questions that I posed to myself – how long like this, would I be able to provide my broken soul any suture?

For the moment I am standing at a juncture fighting demons within that eloquently pronounced me a failure,

Aware of the fact yet oblivious to the outcome, the only choice I am left with is to either give up or go down fighting as a gladiator.

The buzz of failure from within is the worst enemy one can deal,

It could cripple the courage, hurt the senses and butcher the individuality beyond heal.

I am listening to that buzz of failure…….