Know The Art Of Detachment


Originally posted on Candles Online

Have you ever left food on stove and forgot to turn off at the right time? I am sure not an alien situation. What happens then? Smoke all around, burnt food, burnt vessels, an uphill task of cleaning the mess and not to forget taunts / reprimands 😁. This is exactly close to what happens to us in life if we don’t know the art of detachment in our lives. Anxiety surrounds us as smoke, the vessel that is our body faces the burnt of such anxiety & related issues. Food that is a result of our anxiety & attachment driven actions are highly marred by negative emotions of greed, lust, anger, deception, lies and everything in that cadre. Food or lives, there’s no need to explain how people remember if it isn’t a right(eous) one. If we can’t turn off the fire in time or detach ourselves from the worldly pleasures and bonds then surely we will be charred.

What are the attachments we as human beings have?

* Materialistic Attachment

* Emotional Attachment

* Attachment with our fears

Let’s take on them one by one:

Materialistic Attachments: I will quote a simple example here. A person has a favourite coffee brand that he has been drinking over years as the first thing in the morning and anything else would leave him irritated throughout the day. Due to this reason he would plan his trips with coffee on his itinerary, even it means to going to someone else’s place. We can call it addiction or obsession but it is his attachment to that product that’s causing him this unnecessary trouble. This is an example where the repercussions might not impact others. But then as we move up the ladder (read more inclined towards accumulation) of materialistic attachments like that of money, land, gold etc. – our better sense is slowly replaced by seeds of greed, lust, deception. Why do you think why scams happen? Food for thought, isn’t it?

Emotional Attachment: A small story I would like to narrate from our epic Mahabharata – Guru Dronacharya, the teacher of Kuru Princes loved his son Ashwathama very much. His entire life he toiled to give a better life to his son and see him happy. His constant worry and misconception about Loving one’s kin even made him fight the righteous Pandavas. But the question is was his emotion truly can be defined as Love? No!! Love enables endurance, showing the right path by trending it even if it hurts for a while, love acts like a medicine that might taste horrendous but heals eventually. Let’s take a leaf from the present scenario. A mother punishing a young child for misbehaviour is surely love but the same mother trying to whitewash the same child’s image after few years if he / she picks up a wrong path is not love but emotional attachment.

Fear & Us: Our attachments feed our fear to say the least. If we don’t earn “enough”, if our kids don’t lead a certain patterned life, if we don’t fill in the already set norms of the society we will be ostracized. If we speak up the truth we will be mocked and we will end up sounding not relatable. We have to fit ourselves somehow in the places carved , even if it means denying our conscience. We don’t want to be robbed of our deemed valuables, we fear losing, we fear old age, we fear death, we fear estrangement from loved ones. This is our fear only that results in complications in our relationships feeding our egos. And in this run to the mill the only thing we don’t fear is “losing ourselves” and “sense”. Strange, isn’t it?

Interesting Fact: Most of our pilgrims are located at higher altitudes which requires us to carry as much as less possible baggage with us to make the journey easier. If we closely observe the intrinsic meaning / core of such journeys, it says “if you are coming to me why carry the unnecessary baggage of bonds, fears and attachments. Aren’t you supposed to relieve yourself in my presence?”

Where’s the liberty? Attachments impact us beyond a speck of doubt. But does this mean we take up asceticism right from the word go? Not possible as when born with this human abode we have a set of responsibilities towards our family and society. They need to be discharged with utmost care. But every once in a while we must care to answer “Who Am I?”, “What’s my purpose on this earth?”, “Is making merry the sole purpose of life?”. These questions to yourself will shed light on a new perspective of and towards life. That’s the illuminated path of righteousness where the almighty wants to see us shining in his light. Once that truth dawns upon us we will slowly try to distance ourselves from these attachments that shackled our souls. Our attachment shall be like a pearl of water on the lotus flower, it seems to be attached but never really stick together.

Practice Tip: All of us must practice silence, absolute silence!! No phone, no book but time with you. Start with 10 minutes a day, can increase it gradually. You will soon find the clutter that clogged our minds is getting decluttered. This silence is a teacher that teaches us we can be alone and don’t have to entertain “unnecessary” bonds. That will fill us with the ability to speak the truth and what is right the without fear of being judged. When fear leaves our hearts it is filled with joy. And the joy in your heart makes you understand there’s more pleasure in giving up than accumulating and holding tight.

Go ahead first simmer down and then switch off that stove, let your lives be filled with flavour of Joy that was intended to be. I am your company in this process 😊.

** My work is inspired by the words of Shri Garikapati Narasimham Garu🙏🙏.

Picture credit: Google.

Change The Way You See Me


woman-nature

Dear Society,

You see me as tears, saga of a broken beaten self. But I am a rain drop that has many rainbows hidden in its embrace.

You see me as dust that can be swept under the carpet of your fallacious ego. But I am the earth from whose lap life emanates.

You see me as a heap of leaves that lie shuddering and withered on ground, awaiting for the spring to arrive. But I am the wind that drape seasons and facilitate change.

You see me just as glitter and bling of a shimmery costume that you can discard at will. But I am the fire that holds warmth, brilliance and blaze.

You see me as a fragile bird that you can keep shackled in the cage of restrictions. But I am the sky of dreams and aspirations beyond your comprehension and petty gaze.

You see me as “Just & After All” Woman, a petite body. But I am an embodiment of love, force and strength – the nature itself, an identity here to stay.

Change the way you see me is all I have to say.

From a woman proud of womanhood ❤️❤️.

If I Can Trade My Words….


Originally posted on Candles Online

“If I can trade my words I would invest them in your smile”

That’s pretty much cheesy, right out of a popcorn romantic flick, isn’t it? Don’t blame me, I am currently watching way too many Disney movies – Prince, Princess, Love story, perfect fairy tales. They not only entertain me but a perfect recipe to cheer me up. Apart from that my phone’s gallery is my hideout. Binge eating, unforeseen shopping (apart from groceries ) are more or less commoners in the world of “let me cheer you” force.

But it is undeniable that no matter how much ammunition one has to ward off shadows of gloom, a strong shoulder to lean on and an empathetic & soothing word is still an unmatched comfort. We can falter and crumble at some point, all while throwing around a charade of being strong. We do need someone to ask and say “How are you?”, “I understand”, “I am with you”, “what can I do to cheer you up”, “you are strong”, “you deserve much more”, “relax, I am there for you”, “just chill”, ” let’s hangout, don’t bother for anything else”

Why do one need someone or something to Cheer themselves up? When one gets tired of chasing dreams, battling adversaries, struggling demons ranging from bullies to inner enemies of that of depression / anxiety, our mind send us SOS. Nursing of a dented spirit is so much needed to bring it back on its feet. All the apparent and oblivious battles deplete us of our both physical and mental strength and that’s when exactly doubts trend – Can I fight it out? Can I do this after all? Seems I am unworthy? This is proving futile, let’s quit? I have lost everything? Was it meant to be this after all? If these questions left to knock too much one’s soul they can bring sabotage the same beyond repair. That’s the very reason we are talking about this issue at the first place today. Be attentive dearies!!

Me as a person on the other side of the fense, in the capacity of a friend (universal relationship with every related person in our lives) got a weird sense of intuition (I can be boastful sometimes, kindly excuse me). With people whom I am in regular touch with can easily read between the lines from our seemingly “Fine” conversation. From dry OKs, lifeless HMMs, tone of “I am fine” in chats I can tell not everything is fine. May be rapport over years is the reason. Whenever I sense something off, the first thing I do is to pester them with one question “what happened”. Sometimes no matter how close you might be some investigation is imperative. *Note: an immediate call in person rather a chat always scores. Lending an inquisitive ear is very important. I believe in strongly saying this “I know it’s easy to say that I understand and be strong because I am not there in your shoes. But also I know that you have fared much better in more worse situations in life before, you will surely see the shore surely. You are loved. You matter to us, just remember this. And for anything else I am here, Talk to Me”.

A page from my therapeutic experiences (if you can call talking one): a friend of mine who now shifted to Switzerland had her share of self esteem blues (parenting can really take a toll). We used to talk a great deal. My only aim was to cheer her up invoking her love and confidence in herself. I used to say “You are doing great”. These words seem very simple but might rekindle the positivity streak within one self. Might work at least 5 out of 10 times. Even if it is 1 out of 10 it’s worth giving it a try!! And what made be happy was she used to say “talking to you brings positivity to me, I feel relaxed”. Can anything beat that?

Words can make or break so I chose the first one.

“If you are giving chocolates don’t forget to mix sweetness of words – for someone sweet like you.

If you are hanging out don’t forget to imbibe these words in the itinerary – it’s always so much fun with you.

If you are gifting diamonds to lift up the spirits don’t forget to polish them with words – for someone more precious than these.

If you can only talk then don’t forget to send your warmth via vocals – thank you for being with me, so PROUD OF YOU!!!”

Words make a lot of difference – period.

Let The Seed Of Belief Yield Fruits Of Wisdom


Few months back I got a packet of carrot seeds and sown them in my garden. Days turned into weeks but no result. Instead unwanted weeds cropped up all around. I pacified myself thinking may be the soil isn’t of good quality or the seeds aren’t supreme. Yet kept checking. Meanwhile in a small pot I scattered few tomato seeds and surprisingly saplings did crop up in no time. What made the difference? In the first case I buried (literally) the seeds quite deep making it hard for the feeble saplings to make it to the surface. On the contrary I sowed the tomato seeds quite close to the surface and covered them with a thin layer of soil. Keeping the soil loose let the seeds breathe easy and develop well.

What struck me actually? Not the principles of Horticulture but a valuable lesson that those tiny particles have taught me. When the seeds are sown really deep and the upper layer of soil is decked up too tightly the saplings never find it easy to develop – not just tender leaves but strong roots; roots strong enough to brave the weather and stand upright. And this has a close allegory to the way we perceive devotion or seek wisdom in our lives.

We have strongly and successfully confused ourselves with devotion towards God and atttaining wisdom with a set of ritualistic practices. And that resulted in FEAR. Fear of facing the God’s wrath if we fail to perform or practice rituals as per the rule book which is amended and moulded as per personal conveniences!! And unfortunately forgot that God can’t be a synonym for fear and which is conveniently cashed by few “caretakers” of God 😡. And that forces the rigidity. Rigidity to do things as mentioned and deemed to be the God’s will. Just as the seeds need the soil to be loose to let them breathe, rigidity of practices must be done away with. The fear mongering must be stopped, enabling the emotion “God Loving” dwell in. Fear never let’s the love thrive and when love ceases to exist the desire to know more extinguishes and that blocks the route to wisdom, period! On a lighter note we must remember that God is not our thrice removed maternal uncle to sulk and swear at every trivial matter. He has created us to achieve higher purposes in life rather than navigating directionless with fear of choosing five minute folded hand prayer over 50 minutes of rosary beads chant.

Shall rituals (traditions) be completely abandoned when it comes to devotion? Seeds need water too, isn’t it? It is an undeniable fact that various rituals in different sects of beliefs are means to the final destination. Be it chanting the holy name, offerings, fasting, praying, veneration etc. – they all aim at awakening the inner mechanisms of higher consciousness. They are like sprinkles of water scattered with utmost love to let the life sprout. The constant and right amount of irrigation (performance of rituals / traditions ) is very important to prepare the parched soul ready to absorb the crux of the supreme lord’s message.

Coming to another crucial element – Air, is also pivotal for good offsprings. So the soil of traditions must be loosened with air of compassion and righteousness. A petty example : A person who can’t fast due to health issues shouldn’t be mocked or subjected to insults on the pretext of not sticking to the “traditions”. Its better to eat and thank & think about the almighty rather than to fast and think about the malicious things and food 😁 (then the very spirit of fasting as a part of our ritual has failed).

With air of compassion & righteousness, irrigation of practice; seeds of belief develop strong roots of humility that enables a soul to stay grounded with strength and brave the adversities of life, standing upright with its branches of knowledge yielding fruits of wisdom hanging low for a greater betterment.

Compliment & Complete


Originally posted on Candles Online:

person holding white jigsaw puzzle piece
Photo by bongkarn thanyakij on Pexels.com

It’s a big misconception that only like minds get along well – Try fixing two pieces of the puzzle with the exact same cut, will it work?
Complimenting and Completion
always works when there’s a hint of difference.

Self Belief


self-belief-1

Picture credit: Google Pictures

Self Belief may not make opportunities land up in your lap but it definitely arms you up with the capacity to foresee, evaluate, accommodate the opportunities from a long distance and channel them to your feet and propel you to the steering of your own destiny.

Forgetfulness – A Blessing


Picture credit: Pexels free Library

Originally posted on Candles Online

“Pray for Forgetfulness for if you tend to forget the good done by you to others and continue in your penance of compassion, the serpent of arrogance will never be able to poison your soul. You will be grounded with the weight of a jewel called Humility.”

An End To The Enigma Of Life


Picture credit: Google Images

Originally Posted On Candles Online:

I kept wandering in the pursuit of happiness that never had any definitey.

I was surrounded by the maddening chatter of desires that robbed me of my serenity.

I kept looking for flaws in others to prove my superiority.

I was an obnoxious, boisterous trumpet busy in singing laurels in self-praise, deprived of humility.

I invested myself to the extent of immersion in the worldly ties that costed me my sobriety.

I propelled higher in the skies of baseless egos and crude pride that I lost connection with the reality.

I was absorbed by the frivolous vanity of material charms that left me with insanity.

I let my greed take over my senses and I became nefarious and lost even my humanity leave aside divinity.

I was flowing with the directionless wind until I encountered – Failure, Old Age, Illness & Death – Teachers who teach everyone without disparity.

I soon yet quite lately realised that I was so far indulged in a mirage hunt that never existed even remotely.

I now stood as a silent spectator, witnessing the changing masks, perhaps the real faces – shedding down inhibitions and civility.

I was baffled at first, agitated, and finally struck by melancholy to see everything moving away from my proximity.

I crumbled down like a brittle wall and wailed hard that echoed within, digging up and unearthing the dormant soul resting under the debris of mistaken identity.

I was now bound to listen to the resonating call of my true companion that completely shook me first with remorse only to bring tranquillity.

I realised the riches I amassed throughout never comforted me, contrary to that delight dwelled in a charity that has never been my priority.

I always had a safe distance from compassion while arrogance choreographed my relations that weathered away in the face of a calamity.

I, now a solitary reaper of venomous fruits of bitter seeds of my deeds quizzed my companion to suggest a way if any that leads to liberty.

I overheard as my companion whispered to my heart “seek forgiveness and salvation from the ever compassionate Almighty”.

I was again left in the lurch ” how shall I go about seeking the ultimate one and escape from the world and its duplicity.

I was startled when a voice echoed from within “shall I call you ignorant or address as innocent? Still searching out, paying no heed to the one residing in you since eternity”.

I stood sans commotion, letting the silence speak eloquently to and within me, taking the charge of my senses for the first time in a while now and soaking in the tranquillity.

I felt the warmth of my tears drenching my barren heart as his words are aiding cultivation of compassion & righteousness that would yield the crop of wisdom, the profit of salvation, making soul opulent, and lofty.

I latched onto the light of truth, dispelled the fog of ignorance that enveloped my being, the cluster that insidiously gripped me is losing its ground, a life that seemed enigmatic is now deriving it’s meaning while rediscovering its beauty!!!

Musical Chairs – A Game We Are Still Playing


images

Originally posted on Candles Online, participating in the “Allegory Week

“The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round; The wheels on the bus go round and round all through the town” and the music stops and kids fight their way to get a place on the insufficient number of chairs placed in a circular configuration.

And we call it “Musical Chairs”, a fun game we all have seen and been a part of. As the number of chairs decrease the competition gets intense. Some physical dribbles, some sulking faces, few sportive acceptances, few angry stomping – all for that coveted chair of winner 😁😁.

Well that’s all fun but have a close liaison with our life, just need a deeper look, let’s have a look then.

The fight for chairs isn’t just a game in the birthday parties but a reality of our desire driven lives. Comparison with fellow human being is constantly fueling the competitive streak (not always a good spirited one though) in us. Success, position, power – the Chairs we are fighting for and resorting to every tactic we could. These chairs are placed high and have a pyramidal structure beneath them, paving a way to reach them and have two directions for the summit – one a long one and the other obviously the antonym for the previous one.

If hard work, patience, strong will, perseverance, honesty, optimism are the stairs to climb and reach the “High Chair” then deceit & envy are the second direction we were talking about earlier that can place us in a jiffy in the place we are eyeing for (remember the dribble/push/pull in the musical chairs?).

The stairs we take to climb here are surprisingly the raw material for the “Chairs” we long for. While the previous list gives us a durable product with an added perk of Goodwill that aides reconstruction in case of an accident which is a norm of an uncertain life. Success, Position, Power – all might get wiped out but with a great character a human being is always up on his feet and starts head on.

On contrary if a person takes the other route then the termites of fear, ego, greed and arrogance enter the legs of the chair we rest on, corroding it to the core from deep within. When the chair crashes the hurt is deep and probably beyond repair.

A close encounter: Talking about the choices we make, makes me remember a snack maker from my childhood in our neighbourhood. When we moved to that particular neighbourhood it wasn’t a busy quarter. Provisions, services were scarcely developed there and slowly evolving. So a snack maker started a small business in that area. He used to make wonderful snacks that we loved to devour. He had a good market in the absence of a stringent competition. He was comfortable in his “Chair”. Since change is thy life, slowly other entrepreneurs started making their space in that area. In the wake of losing out market share to them this particular snack maker started deviating from the path he chose. His quality of food deteriorated, prices soared (which is still understandable in the wake of market changes and if had been the food was great). His greed to keep the position of a higher market share purported him to take the easy steps to attain the goal. Something close to the game of musical chairs we were discussing, isn’t it?
A recurring question: A strong belief that only losers preach or put it the other way round, preaching is only for the losers. I am no one to question or answer this – a candid confession! But the question that needs to be graced with deep introspection – Are Desires Completely Undesirable/ Unacceptable? Answer is NO. If desires of a person are acting as a fulcrum for his/her upliftment, if they pave a way for greater good and emancipation of many more then they are surely a necessary driving force. BUT ( noticed the emphasis?) if our desires are robbing us of sanity, peace of mind, values and inspire us to stoop to any level to reach the zenith (a mirage), then we better leave the game and enjoy the music instead.

There’s always another party and game to play and music is there anyways, so enjoy on a reclining chair with your hair down, what say 😁.

CARING FOR THE CAREGIVERS


Being a caregiver is not easy. It necessitates commitment, sacrifice, compassion and patience as the chief virtues. Whether or not one has the attributes needed to be a caregiver and whether or not one is prepared to be one, sometime across the lifespan one has to play the role of a caregiver. You don’t have […]

CARING FOR THE CAREGIVERS