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What is the most common thing that we are habituated to listen to from our elders?

“Humare zamaane mein aisa Nahi hota tha” which translates to ” It never used to be like this in our times”.  Simply put they are hinting at the Generation Gap.  I am slowly making a place in that league though 😁.

What is the simplest explanation of “Generation Gap”?

Well, my ingenuity 😉 says Generation Gap is the difference between Nokia old model handset and I-Phone 8 ( don’t ask me specifications, I am a loser when it comes to that 😀).  Here is a glimpse of what I meant:


Source: Google


Source: Google

Now let’s imagine the older Nokia model be the generation preceding us and the I-Phone being our generation (how stylish!).

Just like the features of a basic phone the thoughts and the lives of previous generations used to be simple yet…

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Passing The Buck – Our Favourite Game!

Hello Everyone,

What is the national game of our nation?  It’s not hockey or cricket.  But “Passing The Buck“.  We enjoy it to the core as there’s no referee in this game other than our conscience which we seldom refer to.

Since the day when our country has attained the status of an independent nation we have gained the expertise in the aforesaid game.  The lightening speed with which we point out fingers starting from neighbors to authorities to government is unmistakable.

Be it the safety of women in the country, the corruption levels, the lack of cleanliness, hay-wire situation of law and order – name it and we have a standard reaction “This government is ineffective”, ” This government failed to deliver on its promises”, “Nothing changes in this country“.   We are in continuous habit of whining but not even once we are ready to accept our failure as responsible citizens of a country.

Let me give you few instances:

Few days back a rape case came in light.  Well, that’s not new but the astonishing fact is that it was committed in broad daylight on a pavement,  hustling and bustling with crowd.  It did happen and the repelling truth is no one from the crowd were empathetic enough or had courage to stop the heinous crime.  Rather it was filmed to be reported to the police.   I wonder what signal is this incident sending to those who have an inclination towards crime?  Carry a knife, do the crime, threaten  and get away with it, if at all charged things can be taken care of – isn’t it?  And after every such crime a bandwagon of “Culture” caretakers jump in to pass judgements holding women responsible without realising that it is only preparing grounds for a volatile and an unsafe haven for our future generations.

We are responsible for the “Corrupt” image country have:  Do you know that India has been ranked 79th among 176 countries in the Corruption Perception Index 2016 released by the Transparency International organisation?  Now don’t be surprised by the statement that “We” are responsible for it.  To save time from appearing before magistrate in case a traffic rule is broken or to get a driving license without clearing the test or to move a requisite file quickly up the ladder one thing that we retort to is “Pay Something and Get Anything“.  For us it’s a petty price we are paying to get things done swiftly.  But when scams worth billions come to surface we thump our chests saying all politicians are fraudsters and corrupted.  Don’t realise they are following the trend set by us “Pay us and bend the rules”. The only difference is in the figure on and in paper.

Comparison of Convenience : There’s a certain laid back attitude to which we are habituated to.  Whenever a comparison is drawn with other countries in terms of safety, corruption levels, pollution, law an order, GDP, infrastructure – every possible aspect which is counted while referring to the development index of a country we chose the mid way of “Convenience”.  We hate it when compared to the countries which are on top ranks of positives and have a default answers like :

  • Every country has its positives and negatives.
  • No country is problem free.
  • We are on right track of development.
  • Look at the countries whose ranks are worse than us, we are still better.

Common sense says comparison is always with the better to bring forth the best.  Alas! That’s too hard to understand for us.  To put it simply I would like to quote few figures:

India is on 102nd place with 46.9 points (more the better) when it comes to the safe countries to live.  So would it be right to compare with countries which are placed up in the point index (Denmark being on the top with 94.7 points) or  advisable to take it easy comparing ourselves with the alarming zones.

And the above mentioned ranking is based on studies of global terrorism, just one aspect and something beyond control of citizens.  But my point is to highlight how our mechanism of comparison works.

This is not a biased rant against my country but a genuine concern.

We Fear Law:  We are peace-loving people to the extent of not getting involved in any altercation involving law and executive forces of law namely Police.  Be it helping an accident victim or standing as a witness to the crime or raising voice against an injustice, we develop cold feet simply because we don’t want our peace to be disturbed by the long judiciary procedures and abrasive nature of police (there’s a reason to their behaviour which we don’t want to understand).  We want someone to take the initiative and we are happy to follow.  And when everyone waits for someone, no-one comes forward.  That’s a hard truth we need to accept and digest.  Until and unless we stand unitedly for supporting the law and order we can’t expect it to be any better.

It’s high time that we start reacting to the issues concerning our nation and its image however petty they might seem to be.  We are ironically very sensitive and react well to the social media posts but mind our own respective matters when our interference could actually make a difference.  Be it objecting to open urination, be it opposing eve teasing/ molestation, be it pointing out violation of traffic rules, be it reminding the importance of clean surroundings and sanitation – we choose to turn a blind eye because they (many of them) seem  to be quite trivial to be questioned or even not punishable under IPC (Indian Penal Code).

Well, we all are aware of a saying “drop by drop fills an ocean” and needs no explanation.  But the irony is that we fail to imply such a simple logic in our actions especially that hold importance for the society and the nation.  Silence of every deemed “Responsible” citizen is strengthening the determination of offenders of law ultimately shaming the image of the country.

This post as I told you earlier is not a rant but a heartfelt concern about my nation.  And when I said “We” that clearly includes me as well.  I shall not shy away from accepting the fact that I might have exhibited flaws as a citizen.  Acceptance is the key to betterment.

Next time before criticising the system or government just pause and ask “Have I done enough?“.

Speak up and help bring a change  OR  Remain silent and surrender to the injustice.  Whatever it is learn to own rather than simply Passing The Buck.








Candles Online

I am from that population of Indian middle class women/ girls, who were/are never allowed/forced/asked/ had to enter kitchen before their alliance was fixed.  Studies were of paramount importance in my life then.  So distanced I was from kitchen even in a single room house that I was capable of burning even water if I was asked to boil it (I request you to not to take it too literally 😁).

The crux is I was miserable when it was about cooking. From choosing the wrong ingredient to choosing wrong technique, from overcooking to undercooking, I have been there done that all. If a person can overload something as simple and basic as instant noodles with salt you can imagine her expertise in spoiling the food and taste. Yes, that was me.

One instance from my “cookbook” (since it’s mine I can serve only incidents which are luckily not accidents…

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A page from my life

Candles Online

Hope everyone is fine and hope it’s a beautiful day for everyone.

Just the way no life can survive without air and water, no soul is untouched by Pain. Death, heartbreak, rejection – only the situation in life changes but not the result. It’s same every time – PAIN. And I know there would be no disagreement on this statement.

And when pain is inevitable there are ways to deal with it.

So my question is “How do you deal with pain?”  Rather I would like to ask “what do you do to soothe pain of others?”  There’s a reason supporting my question – a person in pain needs a pull from an external factor in the form of friend or family.  So in that capacity of a friend or family what’s your tool to soothe pain of your loved ones?

If you ask me, it’s plainly plain Words for me…

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Celebrating “International Girl Child” Week

Candles Online

Hello Everyone,

When the topic for the week was tossed I thought there’s so much to write but my friends were a step ahead and poured their hearts regarding their concerns about how a girl child is perceived to grow up in a society like ours.  And I echo their thoughts.

Well after exercising my brain a lot as to what shall I present, I thought of bringing forth two examples (out of many) from my childhood but not directly related to my own life that had a lasting impact on my opinions.

Instance 1: He was my junior in school.  A dancer by interest and a very bright student.  He was always a target of bullies in school.  Calling him “girlie” and many more names that I am unable to express (leaving it your imagination) here, was very distasteful to the core.

Instance 2:  I think I was in…

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Slowly And Steadily Change Has Set In

Hello Everyone,

As parents of an autistic kid the struggle to find a place in schools apt and catering to the special needs is equally hard as accepting the fact that autism is going to be a part of their lives.  I can say this with utmost conviction because I am a parent to an autistic kid.

Source: GoogleAutism-brain-lead

Life never remains same once parents learn that their kids differ from others or let’s put it this way : their kids have different needs which are labelled as “Special Needs”.  And I am among many such parents whose purpose of life after the diagnosis is to make constant efforts in a bid to make this world a better place for their kid, acceptable to and fro (world to kid, kid to world).

The first worry that struck me instantly was to find a place in school with a staff efficient enough to handle, in fact handle with care my little bub with his diagnosis attached.  The previous school gently informed me that they won’t be able to take care of a non social, non-verbal kid once they had the knowledge of the reason behind his behaviour. It was a real tough time for us as well as for him as he was forced to spend more time at home (no place even in summer activity schools) and he despised it for he wanted to be set free and discover more and we simply couldn’t let him. I don’t and can’t blame them as they had their limitations.

After prolonged chain of meetings with the doctors and social services, a year or so being spent in a day care hospital (routine was just like any other school, going in the morning and coming back in the evening) finally we were able to register a place in a new school specifically commenced for children with autism.   Here within Brussels such schools and organisations are limited hence that adds to the woes of parents like us.  Waiting lists are like blows on already sore thumb.  But on this occasion we were lucky enough as recommendation from the hospital and social services worked in our favour.  Moreover his trainers thought that he was ready for the school and that prompted them take the next leap.

We were ready for a new routine now and equally apprehensive as the kid was supposed to spent more hours in school/ transportation as his day usually begins at 7:00 AM (pick up time) and ends at 4:30 PM when his school bus drops him back.  Given the long hours and new environment I was more concerned about “What would he eat?”, “How he would cope with the new environment and his hunger?”, “Would he able to demand for his needs?”  Basically all I could think about was his hunger to begin with 😉 which is I guess is normal for any mother.

At the end of the first day when I received him at home I saw a smile on his face which did send a signal of relief to my heart.  But I was not sure if it’s just one day wonder or not. Gradually with every passing day my son proved me wrong as till this day I haven’t faced any tantrum (except for few rough days when he had his melt downs right after getting off the bed) while dressing up for the school.  In fact he eagerly waits for the bus to arrive every day.  That’s a blessing I have been longing for!

At school he is kept engaged in various activities that help him to work individually, in groups, communicate better (he is still non-verbal and utilizes pictures for communication at school),  concentrate, learn day-to-day activities that would make him autonomous.  To be precise he is being prepared every day to better himself for the next day.

But still there is a void especially during weekends and school holidays.  Now that he is used to a routine of going out everyday he wants a continuity in that regime.  People with autism can be very rigid with the schedules and it can be an uphill task to explain the reason for change.  Rigid adherence to the schedule is their way of confirming security (they have different prism to look at the world).  That made us look for other options of engaging him when he is not going to the school.  And we ourselves wanted it more than him because that could help him to build his confidence and social skills when amidst new people.  And more importantly keep him engaged with new activities and away from YouTube 😉.

Thanks to the registration with a social services organisation that works for children we have been able to book places (so far) for our son in different institutions during different vacations (there are so many school holidays in Belgium)  as well as Saturdays are also occupied with swimming sessions.  It seems he has taken a liking for swimming instantly.  His excitement is there to see every Saturday.  He has started filling the bathtub with water up to his neck and practicing his swimming lessons there.   The way he moved his body in the water surprised me.

Along with swimming he has a peculiar interest in cooking for he is having a cooking activity every Friday in school.  He likes to observe, stir after spices are added and add water in every recipe (his idea of cooking 😁).  I occasionally instruct him to add the requisite ingredients in the pan so that he gets a sense of involvement in the process.

Over a period of time after he has begun his school changes are quite noticeable in him.  His receptiveness to things and people is evident, no matter how trivial but nevertheless it is there.  And it’s a matter of rejoice for us.  Now we are aware of his interests, probably skills too.  Talking about skills I must say that he sings really well 😁.   He is little bit more independent everyday.

I understand we have a long way to go.  From understanding to controlling his melt downs; from a place in an organisation to a better future, we have a daunting task at hand.  But these petty changes do give us a glimpse of hope towards life.

We Are Hopeful 😊.



Candles Online

Hello Everyone,

“Childhood is a golden phase of life laced with innocence – try to keep it intact”.

When I look at the kids of this generation  (yeah I can use this word “generation” as I am already over three decades) I find them very smart, competitive and raring to go. Be it studies or other than that, there is always a rush.  And I have this question at back of my mind “What’s the rush?” Why is there a rush to win at any cost?  Why is there a rush to grow up too fast too soon?  Who is prompting it after all?

I am 31 years old and strongly feel that I belong to a different era.  An era of Tom and Jerry, Jungle book on Sundays; an era of carrom board games during the day time and badminton in the evenings during summer vacations.  And…

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Candles Online

*Fiction with truth touching our lives

Hello Everyone,

Before going into the story I want to mention two things that were repeatedly tossing up in my mind for past two days as I was preparing to write for this week:

  • An old song :Duniya mein kitna gum hain, mera gum kitna kam hai” which translates to ‘there is so much grief in the world mine is nothing compared to it.’
  • Take off those rose glasses when you see the world, stop using magnifying glasses when you look at your own life.

Now going into the story:

I was reading the newspaper and hurried through all the headlines so as to hand it over to my brother who stood there staring at me sipping his coffee as if saying, “delay it by one more minute and you will have it from me”.  I gave the paper to him but kept…

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Candles Online

Hello Everyone,

Last year my Google search terms were predominantly – blogging, money, content writing, monetizing, earn from home etc.  My financial dependence, my wish to do something productive for myself, a long hiatus from job inspired my search.  I don’t want to shy away from the fact that blogging happened in my life partly because of my effort to earn money (haven’t earned a single penny so far 😂 as my WordPress plans haven’t been upgraded yet). After a year on WordPress, I am still trying to find my foothold before taking the big leap (God knows when 😊).

And I wrote my first ever blog! I was very apprehensive about its reception. Shared it on my Facebook account and friends did find it good. There was a positive word. And not to mention, it did leave me happy.  Among many thumbs ups, I received a comment of appreciation…

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Candles Online

Hello Everyone,

*Note: Talking about marriage not compromises, love should be the essence and present, whatever be the type of marriage – Love or Arranged.

Wife to Husband: Look at that hero, how emotionally and romantically he is confessing his love to his lady-love on-screen.  How romantic he is!  You don’t love me like that, in fact you don’t love me at all😞

Husband to Wife:  Dear, he charges a whopping amount to romance his lady-love on-screen, why don’t you ask his lady at home.  After all he is just a husband there😉.

This is just a petty example of what happens in day-to-day lives of married couples.  This is where differences crop up.  Love exists but is not seen.

I have often heard elders saying differences and fights are a part and parcel of relationships.  It shows everything is normal and love is intact.  If you see a…

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