Hey Don’t Call Me Aunty!!


Originally posted On Candles Online.

What hurts a woman the most? The word “hurt” is making this an emotional saga and definitely, I am not in a mood to tell one. So let’s change it to ” Enrage”. Yes, that makes it powerful 😉. So what can enrage a woman and invite her ire almost at the drop of a hat? Call her a bad driver she can still pardon you. Call her a nagger, you still have chances to watch that football match with friends. Illogical, argumentative, gossip lover – you still have bleak chances of making it safe. But one thing that guarantees a woman’s “you are so dead” look is calling her Aunty!!!!!

(Picture Credit – Google Inc.)

**Important Note: Don’t try the above-mentioned stunts at home**

Imagine a 25 year old lady who just delivered a baby and haven’t shed the extra kilos gained during her pregnancy is called Aunty by some random odd 50+ old salesman at the shop counter. This is exactly what happened to someone really close to me, it was me only 😂. Standing just 5 feet 3 inches from the ground, weighing around 81kgs I seriously looked like a sack of potatoes. But in my head, I was no less than a Greek Goddess who has draped a beautiful saree. Having an illusionary parallel world is important it seems, at the end of the day a happy mind scores over a svelte figure. Though I was 25, the different changes my body has just experienced I looked older than I was. Kids in their late teens started calling me Aunty, vendors who were double or triple my age replaced the sophisticated “Madam” with “Didi” which means elder sister. Elder sister to a man who crossed six decades !!!! That was heartbreaking, demotivating to say the least 😁. I was not “ageing” but looked aged 😱.

Blame it on pregnancy or hormones in play, gaining weight isn’t the only concern. A double date of pimples with wrinkles are so determined to make sure I am grounded well. 35 years of age (can we trend 10 years challenge again? Just asking 😁), my ageing process has been a roller coaster ride. Dresses that look fabulous on catalogues poke me with sarcasm in the trials and the mirror shouts “any flat tyre there, we have a spare here”. Then only the swollen under eye area shouted “we have carry bags too”. Acne scars in late thirties so adamant to leave lecture me freckled face is in. And I am like ” you no freckle but a damn pimple”.

Being Called Aunty is still ok: Since last year for god only knows reason hormonal imbalance has added another feather in my cap – excessive facial hair growth, especially the chin area. Slowly I have come terms with being called Aunty. I explained to myself – it’s ok sabka time aayega (no one is going to stop ageing). I might have aged a bit too early and fast. Let it sink. And I moved on in life until I realized what if people now start calling me Uncle due to the stubble I am growing 😂😂. I would like to thank my mask here for masking my imperfections as well. That reminds of an incident that happened 18 years ago – a time when I was not introduced to the magic of Salon yet. A friend of mine made fun of how I am having a moustache, my kids would be confused whom to call papa😂😂. Now those ghosts haunt me again . Damn these hormones 😡😡.

Dr. Google consulted: The moment I realized my face has too many folds on its linen I consulted Dr. Google. I have been prescribed everything – from dripping egg to sticky honey; from colourful turmeric to plain white rice powder along with tomatoes, cucumber, potato and possibly everything under the sun used in the kitchen. Results were not visible but my face told me “idiot you missed the pan, leave me alone first get your eyes checked”. When you hit panic buttons you are eager to try everything with an anticipation of quick results. Acceptance of the fact that you are ageing is one thing and earnest efforts to make sure it isn’t visible is another ball game that everyone participates in. So did I. So what if I had to wipe the entire kitchen floor after my beauty treatment; so what if my 5 years old called me a monster and tucked in blanket; so what if the application literally impairs me from speaking or laughing to avoid more wrinkles and all I could do is mumble to add to the annoyance of others (read husband). Say no die is the mantra 😁.

How to keep oneself motivated: To lose weight, to have that youthful look on face, to let the world guessing what your age could be one needs to have a disciplined regime and diet. Walking, cardio, lifting, protein diet, yoga – in short whatever our celebrities say they do to look flawless and carved. I charge up myself for such meticulous plan, determined to push few pounds and years back. Salads graced my plate until an ice cream enticed me towards it. One scoop, two scoop – and the drama begins.

Brainwhat are you up to? This isn’t the plan.

Hearthow naïve you are dear brain! Let her eat and enjoy till she can. At the dusk of life this is not possible. Life is so short to curb oneself from little pleasures.

BrainWhat about her plan to look like that celebrity?

HeartLol, celebrity has to stay in limelight, it’s business, showbiz, completely professional. We shouldn’t mix personal and professional things – I mean her personal with their profession. Does it make sense or not?

Brain(gave up) ok then don’t complain later 😏.

And I savoured the third scoop!.

Moral of the story : I have come up terms with life. Aunty, Behen ji, Didi – no problem, I am sport for everything. Sab Moh Maya hai (everything is illusionary). Ageing is inevitable, for someone way too fast and early and for some a bit restrained, nonetheless it happens. What matters is health – physical and mental. And for everything else : Beauty is internal .😉❤️

A very special candle light dinner


Husband back from office after toiling all day, enters the house and is dumbstruck by what he sees there.  He finds his house decorated with candles.  He was trying to figure out what special day he had missed from the calendar.  Trying to recollect all important dates (it’s very well known that men have difficulty in remembering important dates) he moves further in the house.  He was enchanted by the aroma in the air.  And even more mesmerized by the beauty of his wife who just appeared from the kitchen with a tea-tray in her hands.  He was wondering when was the last time he admired the beauty of his partner.  She was glowing in the light of candles. While he was lost in his thoughts and questions he was awakened by his wife’s question. “How was your day at the office?” she enquired politely.

Husband:  It was hectic and tiring.  Anyways, leave it.  Tell me  what is this all about?  Is there any special occasion that skipped from my mind?

Wife: (with a smile) Go and freshen up yourself I will serve you tea.

Husband: (nods affirmatively and comes back in five minutes) I don’t want tea now, I am hungry let’s have dinner together.  But before having dinner please tell me what’s the occasion today?  Why have you lit candles everywhere?  What happened to the electricity? (he was getting impatient now).

Wife:  (with a smile) Ok, let’s have dinner. On the dining table looking at the impatient husband she was clearly enjoying. She continued “Do you remember our first date after our marriage was fixed?  And do you remember when was the last time we spoke to each other at a length apart from our silly arguments and fights?

Husband was in a fix now.  Listening to her made him realize that she is right. Seven years into marriage, it seemed they are drifting away from each other.  They rarely spoke to each other as both are busy with their professions.  And the sole time of their interaction which is on the dinner table has been gobbled up by the smart phones and WiFi.  “Is this her effort to give a new start to our relationship because both of us know we love each other but our lifestyle is keeping us engrossed to even show it.  If yes then I should lend my support to her effort” he decided within his mind and soul.  They had a very good conversation after such a long time.  Every memory lane was revisited, every relation and relative was discussed at length and finally dinner was over.  Now the wife has requested her husband for a long drive which he accepted immediately.  They drove really far and decided to spend some time together beneath the starry sky.  Though the reason behind all this is yet not clear but husband was happy to have spent such  beautiful moments with his love.  Deep in his heart he was delighted to have such a partner who is putting her efforts to sort out things and make them work rather than complaining.

And while he was soaking in all those cherishable moments he was shaken when his wife said “I want to confess something”.  His mind was running in every possible direction.  Controlling his emotions and putting forth a strong voice he said “yes tell me whatever you have in your mind”.  She in a meek voice said “I am really sorry for this.  Hope you will forgive me for this”.  Husband interrupted “please don’t talk in riddles, tell me clearly what you want to say”.

Can you guess her answer?

She said “I am sorry, we had candle light dinner today because I forgot to pay the electricity bill and connection is severed”.

Husband left aghast but there was no sign of anger.  After all, they had a wonderful time together.

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Moral of the story:

A loving smile can take you to the shore in the face of calamity.  Her husband’s anger is referred to as calamity.  Could be the other way round too.

If wife is “showing” extra sweetness then there is a point to catch (just kidding)

Pay the bills in time or land in soup 🙂