Mom, why do we pray?

A page from mother-daughter diaries

Mom, why do we need to do Pooja (worship)?” my daughter inquired when I invited her to participate in our annual ritual of welcoming and celebrating Lord Ganesha, also known as the Elephant God, during Ganesha Chaturthi—a significant festival celebrated by Hindus worldwide. It may surprise you to hear me say “welcoming.” But for Hindus, our beloved Lord is the honoured guest we eagerly await during this time of the year. It’s Lord Ganesha’s birthday, after all!

“Dear, prayer provides us with solace in our busy lives,” I replied, aware that my eight-year-old might not fully grasp the weight of my words. I wish we had asked so many questions during our upbringing; it might have made things easier for us now. Nonetheless, this generation doesn’t settle for excuses or “no” as an answer. As a parent, I’m more than happy to encourage my daughter’s curiosity.

I wracked my brain for an explanation suitable for her young mind. “You know, when you talk to your friend and share all your secrets, sorrows, and joys, it makes you feel good, right?” She nodded. “Well, think of it this way: no matter what name we call Him by, God is our friend. We can open our hearts and confide our deepest sorrows without fear of judgment. He knows our deepest secrets. So, when we pray, it’s like having a one-on-one conversation with our dearest friend, God. It’s also a moment to express our gratitude for every privilege and happy moment we’ve been blessed with.”

My analogy seemed to partially resonate with her, although she was more interested in completing the Pooja and catching her favourite cartoon. I can’t blame her; after all, she’s only eight. But I realise it’s my responsibility to continue these traditional rituals and guide my children so they understand their roots.

Whenever my daughter questions me or shares her perspective, it offers me a new perspective to consider and introspect upon. This time, it made me ponder my relationship with god and how relevant are traditions and rituals in our lives. Can the concept of rituals be intertwined with the idea of “God”?

As a believer, I see myself as someone who loves god rather than fears Him, viewing god as an emotional support rather than a set of rules. My conversation with god can assume the shape of a ceremonial prayer, an emotional vent to my closest friend, or simply sharing my turmoil with my mother. I perceive the Nirakar (sans shape) form of god in every shape and form in my life. God is omnipresent in my life, offering steadfast love, so how can I not reciprocate that love? 🙂 And how do I express my love for the Almighty? In my limited understanding, it involves being kind to the world; spreading kindness is a love language God wants us to embrace.

Now, moving on to the second question: do traditions and rituals matter? Without a doubt! Customs and practices serve a purpose. They help communities communicate, express themselves, and identify with specific belief systems. Speaking of traditions, they carry a lineage, a backstory, and moral values to be passed down through generations. For example, we celebrate Dusshera in India—a festival with two narratives. Whether it’s the victory of Lord Ram over the demon king Ravana or the triumph of Devi Durga over the demon Mahishasura after nine days of fierce battle, the essence of the celebration is the triumph of good over evil. Whether we approach our traditions as mythology or history, we mustn’t let the spirit of our festivals and traditions fade away.

I reiterate: the responsibility is ours. Whatever the generation, the importance of values like righteousness, truth, kindness, etc., can never be undermined. They keep us grounded. In a practical sense, festivals provide much-needed breaks, enabling us to spend time with friends and family in our fast-paced lives.

Now, let’s understand a bit about rituals. Rituals are a set of actions, ceremonies, or practices performed in a specific and prescribed manner. For instance, writing a diary, a daily morning walk, a weekly outing, etc., can be a ritual. Talking of rituals out of religious context, they are synonymous with habits that bring order to our lives.

Religious rituals symbolise a connection with the divine, demonstrating devotion, invoking blessings, and reinforcing faith. For instance, in Hinduism, daily Shodasa Upachara (16 services) pooja involves purification, meditation, devotion, mindfulness, and discipline. Rituals across beliefs aim for divine connection, guidance, and commemoration. While they strengthen faith, blind adherence can lead to rigidity and fanaticism.

Conclusion: As a child, I might have never understood the importance of “Why”, but now I cannot look the other way towards my curiosities. To answer my kids better, I must question and seek. This resonates with the way and purpose human beings are made by the supreme lord, i.e., to think. How I respond to my children’s doubts might go a long way in shaping their personalities. Returning to this conversation that started around a religious practice, I want to emphasise that I don’t believe in imposing my beliefs on my kids because the relationship with god is personal for every individual. Traditions and practices are vessels for facilitating the divine connection and upholding values. But for those vessels to last long, they must be supported with reasoning.