Should learn to say “NO”

Hi Everyone,

This is my first attempt to write, to write my heart out.  I may not have the art of juggling with the words or poetic flair in my writings but I would try to portray my feelings  as honestly as possible.

Hailing from a culture where family values are given the utmost importance I have often witnessed that the word “NO” is often taken negatively.  Especially when it comes from the women of the house.  I fail to understand why it is considered as a writing on the wall that women should be submissive.  Saying yes to every plan and every decision is an unwritten rule.  Whom to marry,  What to wear, what to eat, how to raise kids ( in numerous cases how many kids as well), where to spend vacations and so on.  We are made to implement/ follow the decisions which we don’t own,  in fact don’t want to.  We want to cry our lungs out and  say “NO”.   But since childhood our minds have been trained in a manner wherein we inculcate doubts when it comes to bringing forth our objections.  The minute an answer is awaited from us we start calculating various possibilities, to be more precise the negative impact on our relationships if we are about to say “NO”.

I wonder how words decide the fate of relationships than actions.  A simple cross word gets you branded as high headed,  rebel,  selfish etc.   Not only in a family but in other close and social relationships as well we end up burdening ourselves because we can’t say “NO”.  We fear what the other person might think or feel.  And in this process to be in good books of everyone we write a bad story for ourselves.  Yes at the end its we who are left with frustrations because we couldn’t deny when it mattered.

Going back to the title I strongly feel its in the best interest of every woman (every human being) to be able to say “NO”.  We should learn it.  Family/ Relationships can never be successful if there isn’t consideration of opinions of everyone and ideas are only thrusted upon.  Such practice will only lead to mounting of mental pressure that could be fatal for everyone.

We should remember one thing our happiness is our responsibility.  If we are happy we could build happy families and happy families construct healthy society and that makes world a better place to live.

So let us learn to say “NO” and trust me its absolutely fine.

Kalpana.